How to Keep Your Kids Organized This Summer

Kids love structure and to know what is expected of them. Today we finished our summer job charts. Each child printed out their list and put it in a frame so they can use a dry erase marker to check off the items that are done! If you would like to create a chart like this for your child, visit www.myjobcharts.com. 

Starting the New Year Out on a Good Note with Love Letters to our Family

It was so sweet. About a week before Christmas my daughter announced she would like our family to go to reconciliation to "prepare our hearts for Jesus." To be totally honest, we are not regular reconciliation goers, so this thought made me a bit uncomfortable.

© Can Stock Photo Inc. / SSilver

But, knowing she was right, we honored her request, and I am so glad we did! It was a great bonding experience for us as a family, plus, we had lots of laughs talking about it afterward!

The real gift came through Paul and I individually serving our penance.  We were each told to write a letter to our family affirming each person for their gifts and expressing our gratitude for them. We were asked to complete our letters by the start of the new year, because it would be a positive way to start the new year off.

For me, writing the letters was a wonderful way to slow down and appreciate my children and husband.

Sharing the letters was priceless. On New Year's Eve, we all gathered together to read our letters out loud. It felt joyful to see the reactions of everyone as wonderful things were being said about them. I'm thinking this should be an annual tradition -- only next year I will have the children writing, as well!

Happy New Year!

My Father's Passing

Last Tuesday my father called all of his children home to say good-bye before the Lord called him home.

Cousins

We dropped everything, took the kids out of school early and went up there. Everyone in my family came. We all had our private time to say good-bye. Even Tyler and Alyssa went in to see their Papa and say, "I love you." I am so proud of them for their courage to say good-bye to a dying loved one.

That night I sent Paul and the kids home, but I stayed to be with my parents and brothers and sisters. We had such a fun night playing cards and talking. 

Although my dad could only hear us from his bedroom, he said to my mom when she came to bed that night, "Thank you for a great day. It was nice to hear everyone out there having fun."

For my dad, "quality time" has always been simple. Just being present. And that is what we were. All of his five kids present.

Just being silly!

The next day our aunt and cousins made it in from Wyoming, so once again, we found ourselves gathered around the kitchen table talking and playing cards. We had so much fun.

We all hung out together throughout the week until it was his time to go to heaven, early Saturday morning, around 3:30 a.m.

To back up a bit ... Prior to my dad's passing, I told him about an amazing near death experience story I had read about. I asked him to give me a "thumbs up," that heaven is for real after he got there.

As I was driving to his house moments after his passing, he gave me that thumbs up. He played a song with the lyrics, "Don't you worry child, see heaven's got a plan for you" on the radio -- the second song into my journey. Throughout the last six months or so of his illness, that song always came on the radio whenever I needed it -- often while driving home from an emotionally draining day of taking care of him.

I believe he played me another song on that journey. Perhaps to lighten the mood -- driving while crying can be dangerous, you know! I had changed the station and suddenly I was listening to the Eagles and "I'm Already Gone." Pretty funny, actually. Not unlike my dad. He had an amazing sense of humor.

The next morning my brother and sister-in-law were at church. They, too, got their thumbs up. Check out the picture to the right ...

Below the screen (with the extremely significant words on them) is a sign with three letters on it, VRL. Those are the consonants in our last name VERLEY. Then below that is the EXIT sign. Maybe the message is something like, "the words on the screen are true" and "Verley Exited." That would be his sense of humor!

And so this is how we will go on without his physical presence here on earth. Holding on to our precious memories and looking and listening for the signs. Until that day we are reunited in God's kingdom.

Changing Schools Need Not be a Hair-Raising Experience

"By the way, your children are going to be just fine in their new school." These are the comforting words my doctor said to me as he looked me in the eye before leaving the exam room. It made me smile, because I knew he was right.

I "know" my children are going to be fine there. They will be fine almost anywhere, because they are very adaptable kids, but somehow this worry affected me so deeply that it has caused me to lose what feels like an enormous amount of my long locks (hence the visit to the doctor).

I've been through this before. Stress brings it on. Or shall I say, "makes it fall out."

But I thought I was dealing with the stress better, so it came as a surprise when the strands of hair just kept falling and falling and falling. My hair feels noticeably thinner now.

What happened to cause all of this shedding? We found out last April that none of the other four boys in my son's fourth grade class were planning on returning to the school for fifth grade. It's a smaller school -- his grade only had 16 students, five of whom were boys.

Although it was small, it worked with five boys. But, to think he might be the only boy or one of only two or three boys was unacceptable to my son, my husband and myself. Especially since he is at the height of his tween years -- he needs the influence and camaraderie of other boys.

After prayerful consideration and much research, we decided it was best to make a move. Luckily, we have many great schools in our area and found no problem with discovering a school with a larger population of boys that met all of our other criteria. That was the easy part. So, why the stress?

We had just changed schools when we moved across the country three years earlier, so I was worried that another school change so soon might be difficult for them.

• I worried if they would be OK in a larger school.
• I worried if they would get lost in the shuffle.
• I worried about them making new friends.
• I worried if the kids at the new school would be nice.
• I worried about the old school -- about the impact of five children leaving one grade.
• I worried about what other people were saying about our family's decision.
• I worried I was letting people down -- even thought I knew our decision was right for our children.

But now that school has started, and I have seen that the kids are doing just fine, I think what is happening with my tresses is the release of this worry.

I think my hair is giving me the signal to shed the worry -- like the trees shed their leaves in the fall. They die for the winter so they can live in the spring. It's time for me to put an end to the worry so I can live in the bountiful harvest of "now" ... which, by the way, is a really wonderful place!

Inspiration and Photos

I got a new camera for my birthday, so I've been taking lots of fun pictures! I have found I most love watching and capturing wildlife.

I've been having some fun lately pairing up my photography with inspirational quotes. I share them mostly on my Love of Life Coaching page on Facebook, but I thought I'd post a few here, too! Enjoy!

This little guy visits our back yard daily!

I love how beautiful these bright flowers look next to the rustic shed.

This is my son jumping into the pool at his Grandma and Grandpa's house.

For the Love of 436 S. Prindle

For my entire life, 436 S. Prindle has been an important address. It is the address of my Grandmother and Grandfather's home and the gathering point for our entire family. We visited almost every weekend growing up. Probably 99.9 percent of my memories of my grandparents took place at that address. It feels like a part of my heart resides there.

Now that both of my grandparents have gone to heaven, the time has come to find a new, loving family for their home. I never thought this day would come. I just thought my grandmother would always be sitting at her kitchen table with her coffee and my grandfather would always be tinkering away in the garage.

To say this is an emotional transaction would be an understatement, but I have put on my "business" hat to help handle the details -- for my father's sake, mostly. He says this is one of the hardest things he has ever had to do in his life. I'm glad I can be here holding his hand through it.

One thing that has really helped is that we were able to hire my favorite Realtor to do the job. He's amazing and "gets" it. He gave us some pointers, picked the price point and sent it out to the market.

After only eight days, we received an offer that brought us all to tears. The offer was from a young family who sent a letter with their offer to let us know how much they would like the home. They said they grew up in the same town as 436 S. Prindle, and their families live only blocks away from the house. They said they wanted to make our house their home as they raise their family.

I'm pretty sure this is the only way my father and aunt would have been able to "let the house go." I think my Grandfather in heaven knows this. It had to be a family. And I'm certain they were hand-picked.

Wanna know something else really cool? The closing date the buyers selected is my grandfather's birthday. July 12. I just had to smile when I saw that. It was totally unexpected, and nothing short of a miracle when I think about everything we went through in preparing the house to go on the market --  all of the cleaning, painting, planting and more.

At first we worked at a leisurely pace, but then we suddenly had only three weeks before our deadline to get it on the market in time for summer, and then my father ended up in the hospital for two of those three weeks, totally unable to help us.

And then there's the story of the buyers -- who knows how they ended up at this exact time ready to buy this exact house, but I'm sure they think it's pretty amazing, too. If only they knew they are buying more than a house -- they are buying a home filled with much love and many cherished memories. I pray they will make many wonderful memories there, as well.

I swear, I don't know why I ever worry. Everything always works out.

I got 26 Hugs from my Daughter this Morning

Isn't that sweet? I got 26 hugs from my daughter this morning! Why on earth would I write about that? Well, because it was before school in the rush of trying to get everyone out the door! Every parent knows how busy mornings can be!

This morning, Alyssa had a few extra minutes before it was time to go, so she wanted to read me a book called Big Hugs, Little Hugs. It tells a "story" about all of these different critters who hug and where they hug -- inside, outside, upstairs, downstairs ... you get the idea!

Reading it was cute enough, but then I was ready to move on. Not so with Alyssa -- she wanted to act out each and every hug.

One little voice in my head said, "Oh my goodness! I do not have time for this right now. I still have 26 things to do before we leave."

But another voice in my head said, "What could be more important than this?"

So, away we went on a hugging spree -- acting out each and every one. I have to admit, I was still feeling a bit reluctant -- it was 7:00 in the morning, my coffee hadn't quite kicked in yet, and my daughter was making me do all of these wacky things.

But, in the end, I'm so glad I made the choice to slow down for Alyssa this morning. It was the highlight of my day and a memory I won't soon forget! What could be better?

The Secret to Great Relationships is ... in your Bathroom

Sometimes we feel like other people are making life difficult for us. Being mean to us. Judging us. Blaming us.

That makes us feel angry, hurt or sad inside and may cause us to react in an unkind way. Then, we realize we shouldn't have reacted unkindly and have to apologize for our mistake.

What if I told you there was a better way. An easier way. A more holistic way. One that will feel like magic when you try it. One that is the secret to having great relationships.

What I'm about to say may come as a shock. But when someone else is making you feel angry or hurt -- the best thing to do is stop and look in the mirror.

Why? Because everyone around you is simply reflecting you back to you.

Whew. Can you wrap your head around that? Everyone around you is reflecting you back to you.

When you understand that other people are only a reflection of yourself, you will find there is no room for blame, judgement or being the victim of another's words. The beauty in all of this is that this secret will help you grow into the person God wants you to be.

Let's look at an example: I had a client who felt like one of her friends was a very critical judge of everything she did, and it was making her really angry. Once she uttered that statement, I stopped her and had her ask herself, "Where am I being judgmental right now?" The first thing that came to her mind was that she was being judgmental of herself for where she was at in her career -- not as high up as she had imagined.

By being judgmental of herself, my client was attracting judgement from others -- especially this particular friend. But the truth is that she was hurting herself more than any other person was hurting her. Once she cleaned up the judgement within herself and started treating herself with more love, compassion and understanding, the perceived judgement from her friend ceased to exist.

If you need more proof that this secret is true, think about this. Have you ever noticed a pattern with problems in your relationships? Always the same problem? The same insecurities? Well, guess what? You are the common denominator. To get to the root of the cause, you have to be the change you wish to see.

I'm not saying this is easy, but you can do it! If you would like the help of a coach to guide you along, let me know!

The Subject of Trust

In a recent moms radio show I co-hosted with Life Coach Mir Lynne Pietrzyk, we talked about the job of raising children as mothers filled with faith and trust.

During the show, I mentioned a recent experience with trust, and I wanted to expand upon it in writing.

For some reason, I have been confused about the actual date my children were going to start school this year. I knew it was a Wednesday. But I couldn't remember if the date was the 22nd or 23rd. Quite honestly, I wasn't fretting about it. I knew I'd get them there!

It turns out the correct date was Wednesday the 22nd of August. However, that morning, I thought the date was Wednesday the 23rd, so when I got up to work on my devotional, I opened up to the date of August 23rd.

Here's what my devotional said on my children's first day of school, "Entrust your loved ones to me; release them into my protective care."

Imagine my surprise. I thought, "What are the chances my devotional says that on the first day of school?!" That devotional gave me such peace. It was exactly what I needed to hear, and I knew it was right. I need to let go and trust God to protect my children when they are away from me.

I am grateful to God for that message, and as I thought about the situation, I realized there was another message for me.

I realized it wasn't an accident I was confused about the date. God knew I needed to read the devotional for August 23rd, so, he allowed me to be confused about the date, so I would read the message he wanted me to read. The message I most needed that day.

So, not only did I learn to trust that God will take care of my children, but I also learned to trust that God will provide for me exactly what I need when I need it.

It's taken me some time in my life to get to this point, but it's such a wonderful, peaceful place to be. I am learning to go with the flow more in life, because everything happens for a reason -- God's reason.

The Summer Bucket List

For moms, summer can be a real test -- the kids are home from school all day, every day -- unless you send them to camp, of course. Our kids do attend a couple of weeks of summer camp, but the rest is up to mom!

Although we all look forward to the break from school, it takes a lot of endurance and planning to keep the summer happily humming along.

Tyler and Alyssa making the summer bucket list!

This year we decided to try something new -- a visual summer bucket list. We sat down together at the beginning of the summer and made a list of all of the fun things we wanted to do. Then, we wrote them on small sheets of construction paper, assembled them as a collage on a bulletin board and hung it up in the kitchen.

We checked things off our list as summer went along, and with only three weeks of summer vacation left, I can report that we will get to almost all of them. How exciting!

Anything we don't get to can certainly be carried over into fall! In fact, I like this idea so much, I think I may keep it going for a while -- I don't know about you, but I'm the kind of gal who needs visual, in your face reminders -- and lots of them! That's why this board, displayed so prominently in my kitchen, was so helpful.

The other thing that was great about it was that everyone got to have a say in what they wanted to do this summer, so it created a sense of equality. Plus, the act of making the board was a fun project. It also created the sense of living our summer with intention.

It's been such a wonderful summer, but I still think we will all be ready for the school year to start!

I'd love to hear from you about how you keep your summer fun and interesting!

A couple of people have asked me to share some of our ideas ... so here you go!

• Go out for ice cream
• Work on scrapbooks
• Grill out with the neighbors
• Purge from under the bathroom sinks (yes, we put a few work-related things on there, too!)
• Chicago Botanic Garden
• Menchies Frozen Yogurt
• Go to the library
• Catch fireflies
• Organize the craft closet
• D'Agostinos Pizza
• Field Museum
• Painting pottery
• Six Flags Great America
• Cooking fun in the kitchen -- trying new kid friendly recipes
• Visit a farm
• Ice skating
• Roller skating
• Try Marco's Pizza for the first time
• Swimming at the pool
• Downtown Chicago 
• Arlington Park Horse Races
• Bowling
• Try Smashburger for the first time
• Go berry picking

Moms and Anger

I heard this episode of Focus on the Family today that really hit home with me. Enough to make me sit down and write this.

It was about anger and moms. The guest on the show was Julie Ann Barnhill. She wrote a book called She's Gonna Blow.

I completely resonated with this woman. As I was listening I couldn't believe what I was hearing -- experiences so similar to mine. A couple of her stories were so funny they made me laugh out loud. I was shocked to hear someone else expressing part of what I went through as a mom.

With one child, I was fine -- so patient. People would compliment me everywhere I went on how patient I was. But then came baby #2, and oh my goodness. Suddenly there was much more stress ... and anger too. There simply wasn't enough of me to go around. This stress and anger took me aback. At the time, I didn't understand where it was coming from. But what is even worse is that I had no idea this was happening to other women. I thought it was just me.

There is a book I read several years ago called, I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids. I have always said if I wrote a book, my title would be, I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Two Kids.

Being the perfectionist that I am -- I have had to accept the fact that it is impossible for me to please both of my children at once, and that kills me, because I love them both so much. I believe that desire to please them both is part of where my anger came from.

The author says this anger during motherhood is a compilation of everything that may be causing us stress in life -- finances, career, relationship troubles and even problems from our past. She said it works like a volcano -- before the big eruption, there are many small earthquakes that signal something is wrong, but we ignore them until we lose it completely. Usually, the brunt of our anger is taken out on our kids or our spouse -- the people we love the most -- even when they are not the cause of it. Then we are filled with regret, shame and guilt.

Just knowing that this problem is not unique is healing. But Julie's insights and practical ways to handle the anger were also very helpful.

What do you think about this topic? Have you ever experienced surprising levels of anger while parenting? I'd love to hear from you on this!

"So, I Get Points For A Re-Purposed Love Note?"

Several weeks ago I left my husband a love note in one of his dresser drawers. Well, today, the note (yes, the exact same note) showed up in one of my dresser drawers.

I smiled and giggled when I saw it.

To be honest, earlier in the day I noticed it was no longer where he left it after he found it. I assumed he threw it away.

So, imagine my sweet surprise when I found it in one of my drawers. When I called to thank him. His response was, "So, I get points for a re-purposed love note?"

"Yes, you do!" I said. "You could have thrown it out or not even thought to pass it back to me."

I assume he was thinking that because he didn't go out of his way to create an entirely new love note, that his effort might not be fully appreciated. But it was. I thought the gesture was really sweet, and it made me feel loved.

The reason I am sharing this story online is simply to inspire others. Although marriage can be complicated, it can also be easy to make your spouse feel loved -- sometimes it's just the smallest of things like a re-purposed love note!

Looking Beneath The Surface With Kids

Yesterday I noticed Tyler treating me less than respectfully. A little eye roll here, a tough tone of voice there. I was alarmed by it. This is not normal behavior for Tyler. Although I felt agitated, instead of yelling at him in the heat of the moment, I waited until later and pulled him aside to talk about it.

I gently asked him if anything was wrong. Told him I noticed he wasn't being very respectful to me -- I cited examples. I asked him if there was anything I did to make him upset with me.

He said "no," then he got all serious. He looked down and started to cry. He said that a project at school was really overwhelming and that he was feeling very stressed out about it.

So, we talked about that for a while. Then, I told him how we treat other people is a reflection of how we treat ourselves. So, perhaps the reason why he was being hard on me was because he was being too hard on himself regarding this project at school.

You see, Tyler's real problem was not with me, even though he was taking it out on me. It was within himself with his own thought patterns.

I talked up his little self-esteem by telling him what a wonderful student he is. That I am totally confident he will do a great job on the project. That I know he will do his best work -- he always does. I also pointed out that what he is learning is valuable and will be needed in future grades.

This seemed to help my little guy quite a bit. It took him a little while to perk back up, but he surely did! By this morning he seemed his normal self. It was surprising that a third grade project would have him so worried, but to him, it's a really big deal.

The reason I am sharing this with all of you is to show you how you can get to the heart of matters with your children. When they act out, dig deeper. Be a good observer of their behavior and really listen when they tell you what is wrong. You'll be amazed at how much you can help them!

I am happy to teach all moms about how to utilize these valuable parenting tools! Contact me if you would like more information!

The Experiences Kids Give Us Make Life So Rich

Zach, the praying mantis!

Over the Christmas break, we drove to Nashville to visit family. Before the trip the discussions began about what to do about our pet Zach -- Tyler's praying mantis. He found him at school a few months ago and has been taking care of him ever since.

We considered leaving Zach with a friend, but Tyler was having a hard time with this. He was also worried about how Zach would do on a nine-hour drive in the cold.

Mostly, it turned out, Tyler did not want to leave Zach behind. So, the day before the trip, he called his Aunt Laura to ask if it would be OK to bring Zach with us to her house. Luckily for Tyler, she said yes.

So, off went the Haisman family with a praying mantis in tow on a nine-hour drive to Nashville. I found myself enjoying the oddity of the experience a couple of times during the trip as we snuck him into a restaurant and our hotel.

The craziest part was the morning we were leaving our hotel to finish our trip to Nashville. Tyler noticed Zach (or shall we say Zacherella) was laying an egg sack. That was quite a surprise, considering we thought she was a he. All four of us were jubilant over it, though! How exciting and unexpected! And the timing -- while on a road trip -- incredible!

We hated to disrupt this maternal moment, but we also wanted to get on the road. So, we very gently put the praying mantis cage in a re-usable shopping bag and carried it carefully down the elevator and past the front desk in the lobby -- hoping not to disrupt the egg-laying process. I was the lucky one who got to carry the cage.

As we were leaving the hotel, Tyler sent Aunt Laura a text message to see if there would be room for about 400 more praying mantises. I was trying to be so delicate with Zacherella, when Laura responded back with a message that had me laughing so hard it freaked Tyler out. She made a hilarious reference to the baby cow we saw being born at a farm during last year's Nashville trip. (I guess our family has a knack for finding themselves in these amazing moments only Mother Nature could provide!)

While it was funny to me, Tyler about died as he saw me laughing so hard while holding the poor praying mantis who was trying to lay her eggs. He kept trying to take the cage away from me, but I wouldn't let him for fear it would end up in the cage lying on the ground!

Anyway, it all worked out. Zacherella is fine. The egg sack is in the garage in the cold to preserve it for spring. We have no idea what to expect with that -- if anything at all.

But, I just had to laugh as I thought about how rich this experience was for our entire family. Kids add so much fun and spice to life. Before having children, I never would have imagined sneaking a praying mantis into a restaurant or hotel -- or even having one for a pet for that matter. Fun times! I just love my kids!

"You Guys Make Me Feel Like A Rock Star"

I have known since she was very young that my daughter, Alyssa, is here to teach me things -- many things. How to be a good friend is one of them.

This year has been one of extreme growth for Alyssa (and I) on the friendship front -- from leaving the comfort of her Florida friends to making new friends in Illinois to learning how to be a good friend.

Watching her this year has reminded me of the quote, "If you want to master it, teach it." Clearly, when I am teaching Alyssa, I am also supposed to be learning.

One recent story Alyssa shared with me was about how she was playing with two other neighborhood friends. They were getting along famously, and, apparently, being very nice to each other. Whatever they were doing caused one of the children to say, "You Guys Make Me Feel Like A Rock Star!"

Wow! What a great lesson. We should all aim to make our friends feel like Rock Stars! I seized the moment to talk to Alyssa about that. And I have since used it to guide her when she faces challenges with friends.

I'm so grateful Alyssa had that experience, because it showed her how good it feels to make someone else feel good. Now we have a very concrete example to go by. And, it gave me a great teaching tool and lesson for myself!

This blog post is written with love, gratitude and admiration for all of the rock stars in my life. xoxoxo

Experiences Help us Know we are LIVING!

We just got back from a wonderful mini-vacation in Lake Geneva, WI. It was our first time there. The reason for this blog post is to share my excitement about enjoying new "experiences" and stepping out of our comfort zones.

We stayed at the Timber Ridge Lodge and Waterpark, where they have several pools, hot tubs and two big water slides.

One of those slides was for going down in a raft, which was totally fun! But the other slide was for going down without a raft -- and it was pitch black inside. I wasn't so sure about trying this myself. Paul tried it and said it was fun, but a bit scary. I didn't attempt it the first day, but by the second day, I knew I had to!

I mean really -- kids 48 inches tall were going down this thing and having a ball, why shouldn't I!?  So, whoosh, I did, and I'm so glad! What fun! It was a little scary being in the water in the dark, and, to be totally honest, I did have to remind myself to breathe, but it was exhilarating to try it!

The other experience I almost let pass me by was going in the hot tub -- outside. Why? Because every time we walked by it, I froze my butt off. But Paul and Tyler pushed me, "You've gotta try it!" I was hesitant, but OMG! I  LOVED IT! I think I found a new favorite activity for when it's 30 degrees outside! I loved the feeling of being soooo warm under the water, while above the water, the fresh air was mixing with the mist and gently brushing across my face. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

As a parent, I notice that Tyler is a bit like me -- a little afraid to try something new -- especially something that could be risky. He did not want to try the water slide on the raft, but I reminded him of how much he loves the ride Test Track at EPCOT ... and how he was reluctant to get on that ride, too. That got him on the water slide in a jiffy!

While we were there, I also noticed the resort uses the word "experience" to describe their daily activity schedule. They say, "We don't remember days, we remember experiences." I thought that was really cool.

Overall, we had many wonderful "experiences" on our trip -- we tried new foods, taught the kids to play checkers, went down water slides, played in the pools, drifted in the lazy river, played family bingo, relaxed by the fire, discovered Lake Geneva and more. What fun!

Remembering Grandma D

This is Grandma & Grandpa DeBruyne
last summer at my brother Dan's wedding.

Grandma DeBruyne passed away overnight. She was technically my step-grandmother, although, in our family we didn't use that "step" title. Everyone was just family. The only reason I mention it now is to share the story of her love for me and my brother and sister, who were brought into her family when we were young.

I was about 10 when I met Grandma DeBruyne; my brother Erik was 6; and my sister Kara was 2. Grandma and Grandpa DeBruyne accepted us into their family like we were their own. Like we were always there. If an outsider attended a family event, they would never have known we weren't always there or meant to be there...because we were. We never, ever felt like "step" grandchildren.

How lucky were we? To be accepted into a family like that? Things could have been much more difficult for us if they weren't so loving. By the way, that family was huge! Grandma and Grandpa DeBruyne had 8 children. At the time there were 18 grandchildren!

We spent time with them on every holiday and many other family celebrations in between. Most of these celebrations were held at their welcoming home. Christmas was always one of our favorite times -- as much of the family gathered as could, and the gifts were many. I swear they took up a quarter of the living room!

Grandma and Grandpa DeBruyne always gave flashlights on Christmas. All kinds -- big and small and unique styles, too! They were different every year. We grandkids always looked forward to them. Grandma and Grandpa were very practical like that.

When I got married Grandma and Grandpa gifted me with the flowers for the wedding -- she owned and operated a flower shop. The flowers were absolutely beautiful -- any bride's dream! She pulled out all the stops! I was so lucky.

I'm so grateful for the time Grandma D was in my life. She was a very special person. So, it is with a heavy heart that I say, "Goodbye Grandma, and thank you so much for your love."

--Written with love and admiration and gratitude for Betty DeBruyne

Using Gratitude to Change the Mood

One recent morning as my husband and I were loading the children into the car for school, I was feeling stressed out and overwhelmed. I was trying to talk to my husband, and the kids kept interrupting. We couldn’t even get a sentence out before one of them had something to tell us. I felt very frustrated and firmly asked the kids to “give us a minute.”

Of course, that made me feel worse.

As we started driving to school, the energy in the car was negative and heavy. I didn’t want the day to start like this, so I tried to think of what I could do to change the mood. I remembered my life coach taught me that gratitude can do just that.

I asked the kids to tell me what they were grateful for. This is an exercise we do almost daily – but I’ve never purposefully used it to change the mood.

Alyssa said she was grateful for school, the playground, her friends and trees. Tyler mentioned his family, school and his teachers. I told them I was thankful for a car to get us to and from school, for their health, for Paul’s help getting them ready for school that morning and for a beautiful sunrise.

We continued to talk about the things that made us feel grateful most of the way to school. I noticed the mood in the car literally lifted and turned into positive energy.

It felt great to give Tyler a kiss and see his big, sweet smile as he got out of the car to go into school that morning. I knew I had started his day off on the right foot…and for that, I am grateful!

Bravery in the Mommy Sphere

I was a very brave mommy yesterday. I allowed our teenage babysitter to take our children into the swimming pool without my presence.

It was a first. I thought it would be a good idea, because I was going to be gone for several hours at a couple of meetings, and I wanted the kids to have fun while I was gone.

When I first had the idea, I was totally comfortable with it. But, as I started to fall asleep in bed that night, I began to freak out!

"Oh my gosh...children drown in pools every day, what was I thinking?"

Let me say that our sitter is 19 years old. Extremely responsible. Extremely capable. It's just that accidents happen.

When she arrived yesterday, I smiled and admitted my fears. We decided to keep the kids in the shallow end and drew an imaginary line across the pool.

I explained that Paul and I always pay full attention to the kids when they are in the pool. We don't read magazines or talk on our cell phones, and the kids are not allowed in the pool without us.

I also asked her to text me before they got in and when they got out so I would know when to start and stop worrying! :) Too funny, I know!

All went great! No problems! Her texts came in just as I would have expected! Whew!

Many thanks to our wonderful sitter! I don't think I'd ask one of our 16-year-old sitters to do that for me. It's just such a HUGE responsibility. Sometimes I'm afraid to be in the pool alone with both kids!

Whew. Bravery.

Making Memories out of Everyday Life

While on vacation this weekend, my sister presented my mother and I with a book called "Cold Tangerines." We're going to do a virtual book club! How cool is that?

I am so excited about the book -- it's tagline is "celebrating the extraordinary nature of everyday life." Coincidentally, the tagline of my blog is "On a Quest to Make Memories out of Every Day." So I can see already that this book is going to jive with my way of thinking.

I already started the book and am loving it! The biggest point I took from the first chapter was that we should not sit here waiting for life to be what we want it to be. We need to appreciate every moment of every day for what it is and work to make it what we want it to be.

We need to eliminate phrases like, "Life will be better when ... (insert your mantra here)." Mine would be something like. "Life will be better when my kids are a little more grown up and aren't so demanding of me."

If we sit here waiting for life to be better, we will be missing the life that is passing us by.

Here's the most inspiring quote for me:

"The Heisman Trophy winner knows...that his big moment was not when they gave him the trophy. It was the thousand times he went to practice instead of going back to bed. It was the miles run on rainy days, the healthy meals when a burger sounded like heaven. That big moment represented and rested on a foundation of moments that had come before it."

Wow. How true is that? If we all keep pushing and working hard, who knows what "big moments" we might have. More to come later!