Moms: Your Daily Strategy for Success Starts at Night

The life of a mom is busy, busy, busy -- whether you work at home or in an office. It seems as if there is more written on each one of our daily to-do lists than is humanly possible to achieve. So, how do we get it all done and make time for ourselves, too?

© Can Stock Photo Inc. / monkeybusiness

Today I would like to share a simple two-part success strategy with you to help you get more organized and accomplished!

Although it might seem shocking, I'm going to suggest you start at night!

1. At the end of the day, look over your to-do list and see how you did. What got crossed off, what didn't. Next, start tomorrow's to-do list with anything that might need to be carried over, plus anything else that needs to get done tomorrow. Review this list before going to bed. Make sure it is manageable.

2. When you wake up in the morning, before getting lost in your email or Facebook, review your to-do list again, and start getting to work on anything that you can. You might consider getting up 30 minutes to an hour earlier to get things done before the kids get up! This has worked great for me and gives me fantastic momentum throughout the day!

This super-simple approach works, because you are beginning and ending your day with planning and preparation time so you are more focused on the things that really matter to you. I dare you to try it for a week and see if it makes a difference!

If you would like a little help from a Coach, you might consider my current special:

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Sessions take place via phone, Skype or in-person

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You will leave the six sessions revived, refreshed and with the tools you need to continue the living the life of your dreams!

Book today! Email me at tina@haisman.net.

Potential clients must go through the complimentary coaching conversation prior to acceptance of this special to ensure coaching with Tina is a good fit for both. Package must be prepaid. This offer is reserved for only five clients and must be purchased by August 5th.

How Alyssa's Preschool Gave me a Helpful Life Experience With Alyssa

Just wanted to share an interesting experience I am going through with Alyssa. There seemed to be some issues going on in her preschool class that ended up with Alyssa having hurt feelings and crying quite often. One morning on the way to school, Alyssa said through tears, "I want move back to Florida so I can have my Florida friends back, because these friends are too hard."

Oh my goodness. That broke my heart.

The teacher and I talked about this issue and were working on it, when one day she suddenly put all of the puzzle pieces together. She said some of the the other children in class may be experiencing jealousy toward Alyssa, because her mom has been volunteering in the classroom.This created an interesting dynamic.

Here's one example of what was happening: When I arrived at school to volunteer, the whole class would come running over to hug me, nearly knocking me down. Alyssa used to be a part of that big hug. She seemed proud to have her mom at school.

But as the year went on, I noticed she would not come hug me -- she would go off by herself. I wondered why. It seemed like she looked sad, too...but why would that be? Her mom was at school -- wouldn't that make her happy?

The teacher suggested I take a break from volunteering in the classroom to see if it worked better for Alyssa.

At first, I felt bad and sad about it, but after I had time to process the situation and talk with my life coach, I realized this was definitely the best thing. My life coach helped me to see what was happening energetically.

She said if you take out of your mind who the people are and just describe the situation you will see what is happening more clearly. So, in our case, a source of love (a parent) walks into a classroom of four and five-year-olds who have been away from their parents all day. The children are thirsty for love, so they run to the source of the love for a hug. This makes the child of the source of love feel abandoned, because she think there is no room for her with the source of love, so she goes off by herself, feeling bad.

My life coach also reminded me of something I didn't think I'd see until Alyssa was a teenager -- there tends to be an inherent feeling of competition between mothers and daughters. Well, regardless what her age is, the feeling of competition with her mother is not something I wish for my daughter to experience at all. So, I knew it was time to talk to Alyssa immediately.

Here's how our conversation went:

Me: Alyssa, how does it make you feel when mommy gets to school and all of the other kids come running up to me and give me a hug?

Alyssa: Sad.

Me: Sad? Why?

Alyssa: Because I think they like you more than me.

Oh my gosh. How sad to think that she thought that. And how amazing that a five-year-old could put that into words so simply.

I am grateful I took the time to talk with her teacher and my life coach, because it prepared me for that conversation with her.

I explained to her that her friends love her very much, and that even though they run to her mom for a hug at school, it's only because they wish they were hugging their mom instead.

I told her how much I love her and that there will always be enough love in my heart for her and her freinds, too! We ended the conversation with a big hug and a giggle as she started to get emotional and instructed me that we could stop talking about it now. OMG!

Why is it so difficult to live in the moment?

What does it mean to "live in the moment?" To me, it means to try to enjoy each moment of our day. To enjoy each task. To find fun in everything we do. To find the gifts in every experience. To be present with ourselves and with our loved ones.

I was thinking about this yesterday as I was walking to the park with the kids. It is SO easy to get caught up with everything we have to do that we often miss out on life itself.

One of the ways I try to live in my moments is by taking the scenic route to school every day. There is a faster way, but we have found a way that we really enjoy and that provides a view that we love.

I also make stops from time-to-time to look at wildlife or interesting construction projects. One morning this week we stopped at a park that had frost all over the ground.

Tyler and Alyssa have never seen frost before. So I pulled over, parked and sent them running in the field to see what it looked like up close...to touch the grass and see what it felt like. It was a beautiful sight, really, and I realized that we were living in our moment. We took a detour from the road we were headed on for just a couple of minutes to explore and play!

How will you play today?

The Husband and Wife Ironing Controversy

Photo from http://www.oneinchpunch.net/

One of my clients had an interesting controversy about ironing and her husband that I wanted to share. Her husband hates ironing. So does she. Neither one of them is good at it.

Leah had this internal, old-fashioned voice inside that told her she should be ironing for her husband. That is what she saw her mom do. That thought is an old agreement she believed about what she thought roles and responsibilities are for a stay-at-home mom.

But in the real world in the 2000's, Leah does not like ironing. She barely irons her own clothes. Also, she works from home and does not think she has extra time to iron for him during the day -- when she isn't taking care of the kids, she is working. Some of her thoughts were, "He doesn't iron my clothes, why should I iron his. We are in this 50-50. I work just as hard around here all day as he does at work."

Every time her husband picked up the iron he ended up swearing and getting totally frustrated. Because of Leah's internal beliefs that she should be the one ironing, she felt a dagger go into her heart every time she heard him get pissed off as he was ironing. Part of her felt bad, like she should iron for him, but another part of her thought he needs to be responsible for his own ironing, just as she was hers.

This went on for years. Like more than 10. And they never really talked about it. It was just an experience that kept occurring.

It recently came to light again. Leah heard her husband complaining about ironing more and more. But she didn't say much other than to suggest he look for a tutorial video on YouTube. He did that, but didn't really find anything helpful.


photo from http://www.oneinchpunch.net/



Finally, one day, Leah decided to try to help make her husband's ironing experience better. She went out and bought him a new iron and ironing board. Her husband was excited about the new purchases and hoped it would help, but it only helped a little bit. He still got frustrated when he ironed.

Leah's next idea was to take his shirts to the cleaners to be professionally pressed. She did that and surprised him one day. It worked! He loved the surprise! They talked about the expense, which neither one of them had too much of a problem with, considering the frustration the ironing caused.

Finally, knowing he was in a good mood about the subject, Leah was brave enough to be honest with her husband. She said she had this old-fashioned, internal belief that she should be ironing for him, but that she did not want to. She said it felt like a dagger in her heart when she heard him get frustrated about ironing, because she thought the swear words were aimed at her. She said she didn't want his ironing to be her responsibility, but she wouldn't mind dropping shirts off at the cleaners and picking them up. He said she was awesome. That made her feel very relieved.

The moral of this story is in communication. Leah should have been more honest with her husband a long time ago, but she wasn't because she was afraid to rock the boat. Instead, she let this pattern repeat itself for more than 10 years and grate on both of their nerves. Now the issue is out in the open, making it easier for both of them to be honest.

Parenting Dilemmas

It's been an interesting week for me -- I've been deliberating about whether to send Alyssa to school for half-days or full days.

My initial thought was to send her half days this semester and full days next semester.

The class she is in is a full day class. She was the only one leaving after half the day.

But, after the first week, Alyssa expressed her preference to go for the full day. She said she didn't have enough time to play when she left after a half day.

Part of me was jumping for joy at the thought of having from 8 a.m. until 2 p.m. every day to work and get my stuff done. But, part of me felt I should keep her with me as long as I could...to completely fulfill my stay-at-home-mom duties and to continue to mold and shape Alyssa with our family values.

Ahhhh....the dilemma.

I spoke with her teacher about it, and she thought Alyssa would do fine, so we decided to try it for a few days this week. Of course, Alyssa took right to it.

On the first day she was going to go the full day, she flat out told me, "Mommy, if you need to cry you can bury your face in my princess pillow." Seriously?!?! My four-year-old just said that to me?

Then, she gave me a plastic fairy window decoration she made and said if I miss her and feel sad, I can squeeze the fairy. Oh my word. The things that come out of this kid's mouth!

All week long, Alyssa continually expressed that she loved to be there the full day.

This morning I said, "So, before I make my final decision, I want to make sure you would prefer to be at school in the afternoon, instead of home with mommy." She said, "Yes, mommy."

I said, "OK. Give me a hug. I love you. Thank you for being honest and sharing your preference with me." We hugged for a minute, and when I let her go, I noticed she had tears in her eyes. I think she realized it was a big decision and that mommy would miss her.

So, I guess that's it. She's going full days. In some ways it feels like the end of something -- my official "stay-at-home mom" days. But, I know it is so much more than that. This is a beginning. For me. For Alyssa. For our whole family.

We have just moved across the country. The kids are adjusting BEAUTIFULLY to their new school -- so much so that Alyssa wants to be there all day. What more could I ask for? My children are thriving here! This was my biggest fear about moving -- "What about the kids?" I guess I have my answer! Thank you, God! xoxoxo

New School, New Adventures!

It was such a joy watching Tyler and Alyssa adjust to their new school last week. It is awesome having them in the same school!

Tuesday was the funniest day of all. We laughed so hard as we listened to their stories about seeing each other and interacting (or not) during the day!

It all started when Alyssa couldn't find her snack in her backpack. Her teacher sent her down to Tyler's class to "borrow" a snack from him. She found some crackers and ate them all, except two. She put them back in Tyler's lunch box.

They told me about this when I picked Alyssa up from school at 11:00, but what they didn't tell me was that Tyler was not in the classroom when that happened. So, imagine Tyler's surprise when he opened up his lunch box to find a snack-size Ziplock with only two crackers in it! LOL!

Then, at one point, Alyssa snubbed Tyler in the hallway -- he said hello, and she ignored him! Later when we were having the conversation about it, he said, "By the way, what were you doing in the hallway alone anyway?" Apparently she was walking a friend to the office for an ice pack.

The reason Tyler saw them in the hallway was because he was going to get a new pair of shorts -- apparently he slid down the slide right into a puddle of water. The office staff got him a "new" used pair to borrow. The funny part about that story is that I didn't know about it. So, when I went into the school later in the day to purchase an additional pair of shorts for Tyler, just because we needed them, they said, "Oh, he already got a new pair today!" Imagine my surprise! Too funny!

It was a nutty, funny, crazy, joyful week! Hopefully this week will be just as fun!

Remembering Grandma D

This is Grandma & Grandpa DeBruyne
last summer at my brother Dan's wedding.

Grandma DeBruyne passed away overnight. She was technically my step-grandmother, although, in our family we didn't use that "step" title. Everyone was just family. The only reason I mention it now is to share the story of her love for me and my brother and sister, who were brought into her family when we were young.

I was about 10 when I met Grandma DeBruyne; my brother Erik was 6; and my sister Kara was 2. Grandma and Grandpa DeBruyne accepted us into their family like we were their own. Like we were always there. If an outsider attended a family event, they would never have known we weren't always there or meant to be there...because we were. We never, ever felt like "step" grandchildren.

How lucky were we? To be accepted into a family like that? Things could have been much more difficult for us if they weren't so loving. By the way, that family was huge! Grandma and Grandpa DeBruyne had 8 children. At the time there were 18 grandchildren!

We spent time with them on every holiday and many other family celebrations in between. Most of these celebrations were held at their welcoming home. Christmas was always one of our favorite times -- as much of the family gathered as could, and the gifts were many. I swear they took up a quarter of the living room!

Grandma and Grandpa DeBruyne always gave flashlights on Christmas. All kinds -- big and small and unique styles, too! They were different every year. We grandkids always looked forward to them. Grandma and Grandpa were very practical like that.

When I got married Grandma and Grandpa gifted me with the flowers for the wedding -- she owned and operated a flower shop. The flowers were absolutely beautiful -- any bride's dream! She pulled out all the stops! I was so lucky.

I'm so grateful for the time Grandma D was in my life. She was a very special person. So, it is with a heavy heart that I say, "Goodbye Grandma, and thank you so much for your love."

--Written with love and admiration and gratitude for Betty DeBruyne

The Window

Today the UPS driver came to the door to deliver a book from Amazon. No biggie. They usually drop and run, right?

Not today. After ringing the doorbell, the man stood there. I'm guessing he's around 40 based on our conversation.

I greeted him with a smile and walked out the door to accept the package. He handed the package in my direction, but he did not actually give it to me. I looked around wondering if he wanted me to sign something, but, there was no sign of anything to sign. He just stood there holding the book.

I looked up at him, and he looked at me. He very politely and carefully said, "Do you happen to know Irene?"

"Ohhh." I said, finally understanding what was going on. "I'm her granddaughter. She's living in Wyoming with my Aunt right now. She has Alzheimer's Disease, but she's doing well." I felt my face smile a big, huge smile, knowing he would feel better about her whereabouts.

With a very relieved look on his face he said, "Oh. Oh. That's great. I'm glad she's OK." He went on. "I've been delivering packages here for about 20 years. I got to know Ralph pretty well, and through Ralph, I got to know Irene. Ralph was a really good guy."

Everybody we meet around here says that about my grandfather -- and they don't just say it normally. They say it with reflection and emotion and admiration. It's unreal.

But, the UPS driver? Really?! First, it's amazing that someone would have the same job for 20 years ... but it's also amazing that my grandfather had such an impact on him. My Aunt told me he cried when they told him about my grandfather's passing. Wow.

It just makes me think of what a gift it is to be living here in my Grandparent's house. To meet all of these people who were impacted by them. It's like a window into their life. Every time something like this happens -- and it happens quite often -- I feel so warm, like one of them is hugging me. I feel so lucky. So lucky to be living here right now. What a gift!

Written with unconditional love for Grandma and Papa ... all my love ... Kristina

Treasured Friends

I wanted to write about a recent visit we shared with some great friends -- the Norman family.

We were friends with the Normans for about 13 years while living in Florida. We knew each other for quite a while before we had children.

When we started having children, we happened to have them right around the same time, so we shared tons of fun on the kid front -- birthday parties, baptisms, play dates and more!

Eventually, we started a poker group and played together once a month with 2-3 other couples. We were all good friends and spent all kinds of time together.

About two years ago, the Normans left Florida for D.C. Keith took advantage of a fantastic job opportunity. Logically, I knew I would be OK, but when they left, a part of me felt my life would never be the same without them. We shared some of life's most precious moments together. I considered them family.

Of course, we've kept in touch across the miles and got to see them last year when they came back to SWFL for a visit!

Little did I know back when they moved, that our family would be moving out of the state, as well. As luck would have it -- if you believe in that kind of thing -- Liz just happens to be from Peoria and visits Illinois often!

They came to visit us last week as part of their summer vacation! How sweet is that?! What a GIFT! Here we are ... two families from SWFL meeting up in the Windy City!

It felt so wonderful to be able to share our new surroundings and my old stomping grounds with them. My heart felt huge and satisfied and fulfilled with them here. I felt hope for the future and validation that good friends can always be good friends if they try.

The Normans are very special to us. The kind of friends who have always been there ... and always will be. We are so grateful for them!

Written with love and gratitude for all of our friends ... We love and miss you all! Please come visit!!!

5 Steps to Peace After Anger Strikes

What do you do when someone makes you angry? Whether it's your spouse, friend or co-worker. Sometimes we lose our cool, blow our tops and say or do something to retaliate. Or maybe we do the opposite -- we just hold it in and don't deal with it. Either way, you are left feeling badly...and those bad feelings don't just evaporate. They must be dealt with.
Here are 5 simple steps to take the next time someone makes you angry. Try it and see if it works for you!

1. Immediately after the event, get pen and paper and write down exactly how you are feeling and what you are thinking. Get all of the negative feelings out. For example, "I am so frustrated." "I am so pissed off." "I can't believe she said that to me." "I can't believe he did that." "What a jerk!" Just get it all out! Write until you can write no more about it.

2. Now write down your intention for how you desire your relationship with that person to be. For example, "I intend to have a peaceful, loving and honest relationship with my spouse." or "I intend to have a positive, professional relationship with my coworker."

3. Next, write down everything you are grateful for when it comes to this person and this experience that has caused you grief. This can be tough, but it's important for you to soften your heart and realize there are gifts that come out of every negative situation. For example, "I am grateful I have a husband." "I am grateful he loves me." "I am grateful he helps around the house." Write down everything you can think of that relates to this relationship and the situation at hand. Once you have done this, you will be able to take the fourth step...

4. Write down what action steps you can take to own your part of the negative experience and move forward. You can't control the other person, but you can control yourself. What can you do? A big action step is to apologize. Maybe you could have done a better job communicating. Maybe you forgot to do something you said you would do. Or maybe you shouldn't have lost your cool. There is always something we could have done better.

5. Take Action. Now is time for the hard part. The apology. Yep, even though that person made you angry first. You are going to apologize first. And, when you do apologize, don't try to defend yourself by explaining why you did what you did -- especially if it puts blame on the other person -- that won't help. Just sincerely apologize. Tell that person you love them and that you will try to do better next time. Then, listen to what they have to say. Acknowledge your error. Tell them again that you love them and you will try to do better next time. Repeat this as many times as needed.

Some situations certainly will be more complex than a simple apology. Let me know if you need further guidance.

Written in honor of my family and friends -- the people I intend to experience loving, peaceful, honest and fun relationships with....

You Get What You Give

I've been trying to decide what to write about for days now. I haven't had any hugely interesting storeis to tell...but one concept keeps coming to the forefront of my mind, and that is "you get what you give." Basically, treat others the way you want to be treated.

This is such a basic concept, but one we don't always remember. Many of us talk about how we wish people would treat us. What we don't realize is that we have the power to influence this. When we catch ourselves wishing someone would treat us differently, we should stop and ask ourselves, "Am I treating him or her the way I want to be treated?"

Happy, silly parents = happy, silly kids!

Let's think about this in terms of our children. What happens when we lose our cool and snap at them? Do they smile and tell us they love us? No. They snap right back, don't they? So, imagine what would happen if we took a deep breath and thought about our words and tone before we snapped.

I have been teaching this concept to my children. Here's an example. Alyssa is working on the computer, and in a whiny, yucky voice she says, "Aaaarrrrrrgh...this computer keeps doing this wrong." Then she looks at me as if she is waiting for me to jump out of my seat and run over to help her.

Only, at this point, I won't help her because she didn't speak nicely or use the word "please" or even directly address me. She simply complained. She made my skin crawl. I am now feeling totally frustrated and annoyed because she came at me with negativity. As a result, my response is equally rude. I say something like, "Alyssa, mommy is trying to do her work, and you are making me crazy with this computer stuff."

Imagine how this situation could have gone better if Alyssa would have said, "Mom, can you please help me? I'm having computer problems." I would not have felt that negative energy coming from her, and I most likely would have been much happier about helping her out.

Now, I can't expect a 4-year-old to know this already -- I'm in my 30's and just learning it. So, I look at it as an opportunity to teach Alyssa that she gets what she gives. If she wants mommy to respond with love, then she should ask with love!

It seems like every day is a new opportunity to be a better parent! Thankfully, our kids give us plenty of opportunities to try again!

Written with love and adoration for Tyler and Alyssa ... mommy's most influential teachers!

Never a Dull Moment!

There's never a dull moment! Last Friday was our big tree planting party, as you know. My first order of business was to pick up my 13-year-old niece, Katlin. She lives about 45 minutes away. My plan was to stop half-way there at Costco to pick up a nice ham dinner for her family since they just had a baby.

When the kids and I came out of Costco, the car wouldn't start. It was the battery. Why does that always happen as such a surprise!? You never know when those darn things are going to quit!

My first thoughts were panic -- "OMG! I'm only half-way to Katlin's. I've got to get her and get back to Arlington Heights to buy all of the food for the party tonight! I've got two kids in this stranded car. It's getting hot in here. I have cold food I just bought -- I don't want it to go bad. OMG! I'm hosting a party tonight! I have no time to be stuck here at Costco!"

I called Paul, who was downtown Chicago at work, and we talked about the options. As we were talking, we remembered Costco sells batteries. So, all I had to do was go into Costco, get a battery and find someone to install it for me.

I called my mom, who just happens to live in the town we were stuck in, and she said her significant other just happened to be working in town that day and might be able to swing by and put the new battery in for me!

Gee! Turns out I got stuck in a great place! Within one hour I had a new battery and was back on my way! We ran an hour behind our "schedule" for the day, but that experience gave us many gifts! Here are a few of them:

• The opportunity to keep a positive attitude and realize this was not the end of the world.
• The opportunity to keep my cool and show the kids calmness in what some would perceive as a crisis.
• The opportunity to teach the kids that sometimes life does not go as planned, but it will still work out anyway.
• The opportunity for my mom's significant other to help his daughter-in-law and grandchildren -- he was happy to do so ... and how funny for this to happen just after I moved back to Illinois near my family -- it helped me realize they really are here for me!
• The simple amazement of how life works -- that truly was a great place for my battery to die that day!

In the end, the party went off without a hitch, and we all had a great time! 

I share this story because I believe we all have the ability to make life what we want it to be. We have a choice for how we look at our experiences -- big and small. Are they the worst thing that could have happened, or are they a gift in some way?

As promised ... here are the tree speeches!

Tyler, Katlin and I wrote speeches for the tree planting ceremony. I was completely amazed at the depth of what Katlin and Tyler had to say. Check it out!

Tree Speech

By: Katlin Verley

Just a few years ago we had a tree with a memory in every root cut down here. The tree was here for longer than some of us have been alive, Every Sunday during Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall most of us remember coming and visiting Papa and Grandma's house and of course the tree was always there .

But it was necessary to cut down the tree for the house's sake and the rotting inside. Having such an empty yard feels a bit unsettling, for as far as I know most of us had some sort of connection to that tree.

Today were celebrating the planting of a new tree. This tree that we're planting symbolizes our family. The roots that grow in the soil will represent the strong Verley family. The trunk represents Papa and Grandma. The branches that grow off the trunk symbolize the different directions our lives go. And the leaves are our past and new family. And when the leaves blow off the tree, they get raked back up into a pile -- leaving us back together again.

We dedicate this tree to Raef, Grandma and Papa Verley. 

Starting now I proudly present the planting of our new family tree. Thank you Papa Verley, Grandma Verley and Raef for leaving such a large impression in our lives. We plant this tree here for you for an everlasting memory of the people who were most important to us and for starting our family and for coming to us a healer for our family means so much, because the past stay past and the present stays present we love you with all our hearts and cherish the moments we had together.

Now for Tyler's speech ...

Since this post is getting long, click here to view my speech, if you'd like. 

It's the Big Day

Ty and Lyss had fun helping transport the tree home!

The big day is here! The day of the tree planting party!

Today we are planting a Red Sunset Maple tree in honor of my grandparents and in memory of my nephew, Raef.

This is such a special party. For many reasons. First, that it was my 13-year-old niece's brainchild. Katlin took our idea of simply planting a tree to honor our grandparents ... to dedicating it to Raef ... to making it a family affair. She made all of the plans for the party. I've been honored to serve as her humble assistant!

She even made the call to my sister Kara to ask if it would be OK for us to dedicate the tree to Raef. She also worked with Kara to find the best date to have the party -- keeping in mind when the most family members would be around.

Turns out, the best day was today. Today just happens to be Kara's birthday. Hmmmmm....let me see here. So, we are planting a tree in memory of Raef on his mother's birthday. I love it! What a gift! It makes the day even more special!

Katlin also went as far as to write a speech talking about honoring our grandparents and Raef. It will bring tears to your eyes. Tyler jumped on the bandwagon and wrote one, too. I will share their speeches with you after the party. They are so beautifully written -- straight from the hearts of two amazing children!

Ta-Ta for now! I'm off to pick up Katlin and get this party started!!!

Written in honor of my beautiful and talented sister, Kara. Happy Birthday, sister! I love you!

Life is Wacky

I say that with the utmost amount of love...I say it to be silly...I say it as a creative way of expressing that life is so beautifully and amazingly interesting. You never know what is going to happen. And you should never say, "never." And you never know what you might love about what you said you'd never do!

Tyler playing my Grandma's piano.

First of all, there was a point where I said I would "probably never" move back to Illinois. Then, before we moved back to Illinois, I said I didn't want to live in my Grandmother's house for reasons I've already written about.

But, here I am...living in Illinois...in my Grandmother's house...and feeling very peaceful about it. We're settling in quite nicely.

At this point, I can't imagine making this move to Illinois without being here. I've come to realize that my heart feels really good in this house. It fills my soul to be here. It is a gift to be here. The memories that have flooded my mind over the past few weeks are incredible and comforting. It is a joy to share this house with my children and Paul.

Here's what my aunt (my Grandmother's daughter) had to say about us living here via email:

Grandma & Papa's house has always been the heart of our family. Where we could all go for fun times, to just sit and visit, for comfort, for a refuge...it was what they made with their love. They made a house their home. And they filled it with a loving family.

Grandma & Papa will forever be the circle that is around all of our families. They will forever be in that house -- Papa tinkering in the garage or sitting in his chair. Grandma taking care of him, or playing the piano, or both of them sitting at the kitchen table. Our memories of them are in their home, and now your family will make memories there. That is as it should be, it was meant to be this way, God is richly blessing you. You deserve so much, Kristina, you are such a special Grand-daughter.

 As you can imagine, this had me in tears. It's one of the most beautiful things I've ever read about my grandparents ... and about our family.

Well, this Friday our entire family is gathering to plant a tree here in honor of my grandparents and in dedication to my nephew Raef, who is now watching us from above. May the memories and the love continue for generations to come...

Written in honor of Ralph and Irene Verley and in memory of Raef Garrett Young...all my love.

Reconnecting with ... The Godfather

It is so fun to be back in Illinois experiencing some of my childhood favorites and seeing family again! I had the distinct pleasure of reconnecting with my Godfather, Mike, last week. It's been quite a few years since I've seen him.

The neat thing about my Godfather is that he has been friends with my Grandparents for more than 55 years. They became neighbors in Iron Mountain, MI when he was a kid.

As a young adult, he moved out of Iron Mountain, and, so did my Grandparents. -- eventually, they both ended up here in Northern Illinois, just minutes from each other. That was simply an amazing coincidence ... IF you believe in that type of thing!

It's fun to talk to him, because he has lots of stories about when my grandparents were younger.

One of the best parts of our visit last week was the list of restaurants he brought to share with me! I have to say, my favorite though, was him reminding me of my Grandmother's favorite bakery. She loves their chocolate cake donuts (which just happen to be my favorite). I made sure the kids and I stopped there the next day to take in a little more nostalgia! Yum!!!

This may not seem like a big thing, but as many of my readers probably know, I am all about the little things in life. What a gift it was to see my Godfather again, to hear some great stories about my grandparents, and then to share the memories with Tyler and Alyssa by taking them to the bakery! It just fills my heart ... and my tummy!

New Habits, New Fun

I knew from before we moved in that things would be different for us while staying at my Grandma's. First, the house is smaller than ours...no biggie, though, it has 3 bedrooms, so everyone still gets their own room!

Plus, it has no dishwasher. Yep. No dishwasher. I was kind of dreading that, but, as it turns out, it's just fine. I really don't mind doing the dishes, and it brings back childhood memories of us all chipping in after family dinners to get them washed and dried and put away. Not only that, but I have found that Tyler and Alyssa LOVE washing dishes!

It's not something I let them do a lot at our Florida home -- mostly because the counters were taller and the sink was deeper, so it was more difficult for them to reach. Plus ... we had a dishwasher!!!

This activity has also led to them washing the dinner table and helping set it and clean up. They did a little bit of that at home, but they are really embracing it now! What fun!

The other neat thing I discovered is that Tyler loves to make ice! Yes, the refrigerator at my Grandma's is so old it does not have an ice maker. I thought that might be a bit of a chore, but as it turns out, it's a great chore for Tyler! Yippee!

We are enjoying so many interesting experiences as a result of living at my Grandmother's house. These are just a couple of the daily ones!

Happy Friday!

A bit of Nostalgia

Well, we've made the "temporary" move to Illinois. It has been very interesting, going back to the place I grew up, now that I have children of my own. While we anxiously wait for our home in Florida to sell so we can buy a new home, we are staying at my Grandmother's house.

As luck would have it, she vacated her house just weeks before we needed a place to stay in the Chicago area. She is now living with my aunt in Wyoming.

I'm so grateful she is with my aunt and has care 24/7, and I know it is the best place for her to be right now, but on the other side of that thought is amazement at how life goes sometimes. I moved to Florida 15 years ago...never really thought I'd move back. But, here I come, moving back, and there she goes. On almost every phone conversation I've had with my grandmother over the years, she always said she wished we didn't have to live so far apart. I did too. I missed her a lot.

My grandmother has always been a very big part of my life. We spent almost every Sunday at her house growing up, and I would stay with her and my grandfather for a week or two during the summers. I have SO many memories at their house. Throughout my childhood, their house was a very comfortable place for me. How fitting is it that it is available to me now when I need it? It's really too much for words.

The experience has been surreal so far. All the memories in the house, the yard, the neighborhood. Driving down the street. I feel like I am moving in slow motion. I know part of that is because I just uprooted myself and my kids and moved across the country, but the emotions associated with staying here are impossible to ignore. I feel sad, because I miss my grandparents, but grateful that their home is available. I am also grateful, because it throws me smack in the middle of all these childhood memories that I can share with Tyler and Alyssa.

One of my most sentimental memories is of feeding the animals in my Grandma's driveway. She put bread out for the birds every day. We'd tear up the bread, then go inside to the window and watch them eat. Tyler and Alyssa LOVE this activity! I let them do the feeding, then we wait and watch! Birds, squirrels, bunnies and chipmunks all graze on the bread! What fun! It tickles my funny bone to watch Tyler and Alyssa enjoy this activity!

 Written in honor of my Grandmother and in memory of my Papa. Thanks for the memories...

Learning from the Kiddos

I thought I'd write a little about all of the goodbye's we are saying in preparation for our move. It's been an interesting experience.

Paul and I want to make sure Tyler and Alyssa have the opportunity to properly say goodbye to their friends, so we threw a going away party for them last weekend. Many of their friends came to celebrate and play. We kept the energy positive and fun.

We played music, the kids played on the playground, and our friends brought pictures to add to our SWFL memory books. We spent time talking and simply enjoying being together. It was wonderful. We were really grateful for everyone who could make it.

In addition, I've been setting up play dates for Tyler and Alyssa with some of their closest friends.

It is kind of strange setting up these "last" play dates. I'm trying not to look at them as "final." Because friends are always friends. Yes, things will be different when we move, but we will be back to visit. Plus, we can keep in touch with cell phones, email, text messages, snail mail, Skype and more.

I'm finding the play dates to be fun and normal. If you could see the kids at these play dates, you'd never know if they were feeling sad about moving. They're playing the same as they always do.

That reminded me that young children tend to live in the moment. They don't worry about the past or the future as much as adults. They are at a play date with their friends, so they will play and not worry about anything else. Isn't that a beautiful thing?!

I'm trying to keep that in mind as well. All we have is today. We do not have yesterday -- it is gone. We do not have tomorrow -- it isn't here yet. But, as for today, it is a beautiful day for making memories!

-- Written with love for all of our SWFL friends. xoxoxo

Engaging the Kids During Summer Vacation Brings Rewards for Mom

I had the most precious time playing restaurant with the kids tonight. The game started after dinner with them telling me they wanted to open a restaurant. They went as far as to name their restaurant, so I suggested they draw the sign for the restaurant to show me what it would look like.

They did that, and then they drew their menus. I played right along and designed my own sign and menu.

After the signs and menus were designed, the kids took turns serving me at their restaurant. It was so cute to hear them say phrases you might hear a waiter or waitress say, such as, "Broccoli is the side that comes with that. Is that OK?" or "Do you need a few more minutes before you order?"

I learned in a literacy class last summer that this is a great way to expand children's learning opportunities. Instead of just letting them speak to me about what they wanted to do. I asked them to draw/write about it. Then we acted it out.

This is especially beneficial during summer vacation when they are not being stimulated at school. And, the best part was they didn't even realize I was stretching their learning. (Aren't I sneaky?) Plus, it gave us something constructive and fun to do after dinner.

This was definitely the highlight of my day with the kids. I love to see their imaginations at work. But it was even more than that for me -- it was also a time when I was living in the moment. I stopped cleaning up dinner before I was finished (whew...that took effort!) and gave them my full attention. But it was well worth it! Wonder what we'll pretend about tomorrow!