Look Up to Find a New Perspective

© Can Stock Photo Inc. / Tolchik

Sometimes when life gets busy we plow full steam ahead without slowing down. 

What would it be like if we took the opportunity to slow down and look up more often? Maybe today is a good day for you to try it. 

As you are walking or driving – look up. Look around. Take a deep breath. Notice the clouds and trees and sun. Notice your old familiar surroundings in a new way. See if you can find something beautiful. 

Look up! Who knows, you might just notice a rainbow!

Worry is a Prayer for Chaos

© Can Stock Photo Inc. / Elwynn

In her book Miracles Now, Gabrielle Bernstein explains how worry is a prayer for chaos. Oh how true. Nothing good comes from worry.

But worry is a natural human emotion, so how can we avoid it? Is there a button to shut it off?

Yes, there actually is. Gabby suggests simply noticing the thought of worry and staring down at your nose. Just that simple action will take your attention away from the worry. Then you can get to thinking about something more positive and productive.

I use a different tactic. I acknowledge the thought and dismiss it by saying something like, "Thank you. I am a warrior of light, and I say no to this thought."

I dare you to try this at home!

The Wound is the Place Where the Light Enters You

© Can Stock Photo Inc. / yarruta

"The Wound is the Place Where the Light Enters You." Love it!

To me, the Light in this picture is nourishing the daisies. I can just feel its warmth. It is helping them to grow.

That's what happens to us when we get an emotional wound. The hole from the wound lets the Light in to heal us...if we will let it.

Your #1 Enemy -- How You Talk to Yourself

© Can Stock Photo Inc. / katielittle25

In life, we often think our troubles come from the words or actions of others, but in truth, we can be our own worst enemy by how we talk to ourselves.

Do you beat yourself up for little mistakes? Are you constantly putting yourself down? Thinking you're not good enough? Smart enough? Strong enough? Would you talk to your best friend like that? Likely, not!

This trash talk is killing you. It's dragging you down. It's draining your energy. It's poisoning you with negativity.

Though it won't be easy, cleaning up this trash talk IS simple. The solution is to follow up any negative thought by loving that thought. Sound crazy? Sound backwards? It's not.

Here's how it works. Let's say you get angry and yell at your kids. Now you're mad at yourself for yelling. You calm down, apologize to the kids, and send them off to play. In the minds of your children, the situation is over, but not in your mind. You are feeling guilty and telling yourself you're not a good mother. "Good moms don't yell at their kids." "What is the matter with me?" "I'll never get this right!"

Usually, this toxic cycle goes on and on in our minds for hours or days after a negative event. But now you know better than to allow it.

Once you are aware that you are beating yourself up with negative thoughts, STOP, and say to the thoughts, "I love you. Thank you."

This step is a true miracle in action, because it surrounds a negative thought with love. And that is how we change for the better. Here is a secret: we don't change our imperfections by denying or hating them. We change them by loving them. Try it and notice the peace it brings you.

This is a spiritual practice. Does God try to change you by hating you and sending you negativity? No, he surrounds you with love at all times. But, it's up to you to take it from there and fill yourself up with love.

This is a big topic, and there is so much more to say, but for today, I'll leave you with this small bit to start practicing. Contact me if you need more assistance.

A Change in Perspective Makes all the Difference

Recently while visiting family and friends in Fort Myers, Tyler had the honor of being able to altar serve at our old church -- it was a request made by his grandparents to the church where they have been parishioners for more than 25 years.

As if that wasn't awesome enough, my BFF's daughter, and Tyler's good friend, just happened to be altar serving that day also. What a gift! I was so excited! 

But then, a worry crept up in me as I sat in the pew before Mass. What if the other altar servers were upset about the last minute changes made in the serving schedule to accommodate Tyler? What if they were excited to perform the duties that were handed over to Tyler at the last minute? What if their parents were upset? I let that worry overtake the joy for a minute.

Then I whispered my concerns to Paul. I followed it up with the joyful feelings filling my heart, "I am so excited to have him serve in front of his grandparents and with Cassidy. It is so special." Paul's advice was short and sweet, "Let's focus on that."

"Oh." I thought to myself. "Yes, let's focus on that." Those words have helped me every day since.

It reminds me of a little quote from a big book, "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -- think about such things."

Your Thoughts Create Your Life

Your thoughts create your life.

Fake on Facebook?

This topic has been on my mind for a little while, so I just wanted to take a quick moment to address it.

Since Facebook has become popular, there have been many accusations of people being "fake" and only posting good news on their status updates. I even saw a t-shirt at Walt Disney World making reference to this. While I'm certain there are people out there who do that, I would like to offer another possibility.

Maybe some people just prefer to be positive. Personally, I am intentional about posting positive information and thoughts on Facebook. Not to be fake, but because I believe in the Law of Attraction, which says, "what you think about is what you bring about."

That means, if your mind is negative and full of complaints, then you are going to receive more of that. But if your mindset is positive and full of gratitude, you will receive more of that. 

I don't want to go on Facebook and spread negativity around. And that is not what I want to read on Facebook. I don't want to be dragged down by negative energy. 

I'm not saying it's never OK to complain on Facebook. But if we find that most of our posts are complaints, we might want to take a look at that. Yes, there are always challenges in life, but what really matters is how you choose to look at them. I choose to see the glass half-full. I choose to see the silver lining. How about you?

Family Rocks!

It's difficult to label this photo with how everyone is scattered,
but suffice it to say that both of my brothers and
both of my sisters are in it!

Just thinking about how grateful I am to be living in Illinois near my family right now. So much has been going on lately -- so many reasons to celebrate!

On my Dad's side of the family, we seem to go through weeks of "events" like birthdays, baptisms and graduations. That's what happens when you have a large family!

We are now in one such stint -- three weekends in a row of family events! My nephews, Carson and Michael, both turned one; Michael was just baptized; and my nieces Katlin and Kelsey are celebrating their high school graduation!

Last weekend all five of us Verley kids (and our families) were in the same place at the same time! Pretty cool! That was a rare occasion before I moved back!

On my mom's side, we've gotten to do things like go to dinner together, spontaneously meet up for lunch, and go to a gorgeous lakeside farmer's market together.

These feelings of gratitude are further validation that I am where I need to be right now! So glad I can be here!

Socks in the Freezer?

I never thought I'd hear myself say, "Do you wanna put your socks in the freezer?" to my five-year-old. But that's exactly what I said to avert a meltdown yesterday. And guess what!? She took me up on it!

You see, I have this rule about my kids wearing gym shoes and socks to play outside -- it prevents injuries to their cute little tootsies.

But yesterday, it was HOT, and Alyssa didn't want to put them on. I was not going to negotiate on this point or back down, so I had to get creative!

Out of nowhere the freezer idea popped into my head! I'm glad she took me up on it!

After about a minute, she took her socks out of the freezer and put them on with a big smile! "They feel perfect!" she said.

Then, off she went to put on her gym shoes and play outside!

Crisis averted!

Journaling for your Health, Happiness & Healing

I am often met with a look of resistance when I speak to my clients about the journaling homework they need to do in-between our coaching sessions.

After the look, they start spouting off excuses, such as, "I'm not a good writer," "I don't like to write," "I can't spell," "I don't know what to write about," "I don't have time."

Many people simply don't understand the power of journaling. The truth is that journaling is one of the best things you can do for yourself.

Here's an interesting tidbit about how it works -- writing uses your left brain, which is the analytical and rational side. So, while you keep your left brain busy by putting your thoughts on paper, you allow your right brain a chance to open up and be creative. This helps you understand yourself and those around you better and allows you to come up with creative solutions to the challenges you are facing. 

Here are the top 5 reasons you should make time to journal:

• Journaling helps you clarify your thoughts and feelings
• Journaling helps you get to know yourself better
• Journaling helps you reduce stress
• Journaling helps you solve problems 
• Journaling helps you heal relationships with others

Here's how you get started:

• Buy a journal and pen that you love

• Find quiet place

• Set the mood with a candle or cup of tea

• Journal at the same time each day for 15-20 minutes

• Write without editing or censoring

Here's what you can write about:

• Write about what makes you happy

• Write about what makes you sad

• Write about your goals and dreams

• Write about what you want to accomplish that day

• Write a letter to yourself

Contact me if you would like more information!

Moms, Join Me for a Group Life Coaching Program at the Y

Being a mother is constant. It never stops. There is more written on each one of our daily “to do” lists than is humanly possible to achieve; and as if that’s not frustrating enough, we’re supposed to make motherhood look easy and show up to every function smiling and looking like beauty queens. 


We have the best of intentions. We want to be the best we can be. But, where are we supposed to find the time and energy to do it all?

In this inspiring and motivational exclusive YMCA offering, Certified Master Life Coach Tina Haisman will lead you on an 8-week journey to transforming into the mother and woman you want to be!

Who Should Come?Busy moms who want to learn how to reduce stress and live a healthy and balanced life.

What Will be Covered? In the safety of a supportive environment of other moms, you will learn tools and techniques for handling the many ups and downs of mothering young children and keeping your family happy and healthy. You will pick one area of your life to work on and make better – it can be your health, finances, spirituality, relationships or career. You will learn tools and techniques for achieving your goals.

What are the Top 3 Benefits of a Group Coaching Program? 

• You surround yourself with other women facing similar challenges.
• You learn new techniques for goal-setting, action planning, stress management and more.
• You gain motivation from the coach AND the group!

When is it? This program consists of 8 one-hour sessions – one per week, starting Wednesday, July13th

What is the Cost? FREE to YMCA members, $40 for non-members

Where will it be held? Lattof YMCA Meeting Rooms

What do I Need to Bring?Physically, you will need a writing journal and a pen. (They need not be fancy, but they can be fun!) Mentally, you will need an open mind. Emotionally, you will need the desire to make your life even better than it already is!

Testimonials … What are Other People Saying? "Eight weeks of life coaching has made a remarkable difference in my life. Tina has helped me to put action behind several goals that I had set for myself but had been unable to accomplish on my own. Her positivity and encouragement have led me to not only achieve my goals, but also to have a better outlook on life and the challenges I face each day. I would recommend life coaching to anyone who wants to move forward in their life, whether it be in the area of finances, career, relationships, spirituality, or health. And don’t we all?" April

Heaven is for Real

I read a great book yesterday called Heaven is for Real. It's about a four-year-old boy's trip to Heaven while he was having emergency surgery.

I enjoyed many stories from this book, but one of the things that made the biggest impact on me is how the little boy, Colton, met his sister in heaven -- a baby his mother had miscarried. He did not know about the baby before this experience, because his parents thought he was too young to understand.

Colton told his mom that a little girl came running up to him in Heaven and wouldn't stop hugging him. She told him that she was his sister and that she had died in her mommy's tummy. As Colton told his mom this story, she was, of course, in shock, but he reassured her the little girl was OK, because God adopted her. Wow. (There's more to the story, but I'll let you read it for yourself!)

That story really made me smile, because it reassured me that the baby I miscarried is in heaven waiting for me. I've always believed that in my heart, but this story helped reaffirm that.

The whole miscarriage experience for me was a bit of a shocker -- I was 12 weeks along when I realized the baby was no longer alive. It was a Sunday, just two days after Hurricane Charley hit Southwest Florida. I instinctively knew. Oddly enough, I knew because I felt well for the first time in the pregnancy.

The timing for a miscarriage seemed horrible -- electricity was still out in some places, everyone in town was working to clean up and get back to normal. It was hot and humid and everything felt very heavy.

But, you know me, I always look for the silver lining, and I found many reasons to be grateful during that time -- especially for the love and support of family and friends. And, my belief that my child was taken to Heaven.

So, to read this book and learn that Colton met his unborn sister was awesome. It healed my heart to know that someday I will be able to hug my heavenly baby! :)

You Get What You Give

Have you ever heard about the law of attraction? It basically says, "You get what you give." That means if you dish out negative words, thoughts or actions, you will attract negative words, thoughts and actions back to you.

It's all about the energy. Do you want to be surrounded by positive energy or negative energy? It's your choice.

Let's use Facebook as an example. When we post negative comments and thoughts, we feed our life with negative energy. How? Because then everyone around us feeds off of that negative energy with their negative comments. But, when we post positive comments, we feed our life with positive energy. Because then, people will post positive comments.

I know it's difficult. Trust me. There have been times even in the last few days when I felt so frustrated I wanted to shout out that frustration to the world, and Facebook seems like a good place to do it because you have an audience who will validate you. Facebook gives us a sense of immediate gratification because of our friends' replies, but our problem is not solved, and those negative feelings are still there. Plus, we've given all of our friends the gift of negativity in their day.

This is not to say we should not write about anything negative. But, there is a place for it that will be more therapeutic than just shouting it out to the world.

Where is that place? Your journal. Go ahead. Get your journal and write out every negative thought you have. Get it out of your head. That is awesome, therapeutic work. Then, shift your thoughts to gratitude for what you do have today. Finally, come up with an action step to take in the direction of shifting your negative situation to something that suits you better.

You see, shouting out those negative thoughts is a call asking someone to please say something to make us feel better. But, the truth is, we are the only ones who can make ourselves feel better.

Give this technique a try. And if you need help, call on me!

Sending positive energy to everyone today!