How I Learned to Live in the Moment

First-born, Type-A personality. Work first, play later.

When you live your life this way, like I was, there is never any time for fun, because there is always work to be done.

I have come to realize throughout my life that I feel very stressed doing things I should be enjoying. Take college for example -- almost the whole time I was there, I wished I was home, but when college was done and I looked back on it, I realized how amazing it was.

© Can Stock Photo Inc. / sjhuls

Then, after my second child came along. OMG. The stress of taking care of two children compared to one was a huge jump for me. And this second-born child was not like me. She did not believe in work first, play later.

I learned one of my greatest life lessons changing her diaper. She was old enough to be playful and kept moving her bottom around so I couldn't change the diaper. She was being silly. She was playing. She thought it was funny to watch mommy struggle to change her diaper.

I was not amused. I was frustrated. I could not enjoy that moment while I was in it to see what she was teaching me. She was teaching me that work and play should go together. You can play while you work.

Sometimes I just get so caught up in getting things done and doing it right that the stress gets to me and I don't enjoy the ride.

I don't want to get to the end of my life and look back and wish I would have enjoyed it more. We only get one chance at this with the precious people around us.

So, with the help of my life coach over the years, I have learned to find more balance between work and play and to put the two together. I still get sucked into my old mentality of work first, play later, but I try every day to enjoy the current moment that I am experiencing.

I have learned that if I am not happy, I have the ability to choose again. Right there in that moment. I have developed a blueprint to happiness, and now I help other moms take control of their life so they can enjoy the ride, too.

If you think you need someone to guide you on the journey to happiness, I am offering a special right now in celebration of my 5-year coaching anniversary.

Tansformational Life Coaching Package $500 (Save $100)
Sessions take place via phone, Skype or in-person

• Complimentary 30-minute consultation to see if coaching with Tina is right for you. 
• Six weekly coaching sessions of 45-60 minutes each. 
• Email and phone support in-between sessions 

You will leave the six sessions revived, refreshed and with the tools you need to continue the transformational journey of living in the moment and enjoying your life!

Book today! Email me at tina@haisman.net.

Potential clients must go through the complimentary coaching conversation prior to acceptance of this special to ensure coaching with Tina is a good fit for both. Package must be prepaid. This offer is reserved for only five clients and must be purchased by August 5th.

Choose Happiness Today by Shifting Your Thoughts

When you find yourself talking about a problem, instead of stressing over the worst thing that could happen, shift your focus to the best thing that could happen. This is how we choose happy.

Look Up to Find a New Perspective

© Can Stock Photo Inc. / Tolchik

Sometimes when life gets busy we plow full steam ahead without slowing down. 

What would it be like if we took the opportunity to slow down and look up more often? Maybe today is a good day for you to try it. 

As you are walking or driving – look up. Look around. Take a deep breath. Notice the clouds and trees and sun. Notice your old familiar surroundings in a new way. See if you can find something beautiful. 

Look up! Who knows, you might just notice a rainbow!

The Prayer of St. Francis

© Can Stock Photo Inc. / tolokonov

Just sharing a little motivation today. One of the best ways to gain happiness in life is to serve others.

Especially if you are feeling down in the dumps or depressed -- try to forget your own problems for a while and help others with theirs. It will feel like a magic formula.

I think the Prayer of St. Francis says it best.

Enjoy!

The 10 Minute Attitude Turnaround

Feeling crabby? Stressed? Rushed? Just plain unhappy? No worries, I've got a little life coaching tool to help turn your attitude around in under 10 minutes.

© Can Stock Photo Inc. / PixelsAway

First write out a list of everything that is making you feel stressed or unhappy.

Some examples might be:
1. I have to be in 3 places at once today
2. I still need to plan my dinner menu for next week and go grocery shopping
3. I haven't had time to work out all week
4. I am behind on my work
5. I overspent at Christmas
6. I have no time for myself
7. The kids are driving me crazy

Next, write one thing you are grateful for that relates to every stressor you wrote down. Let's take the sample list above and bring in some real gratitude.

1. My husband can help drive the kids! ... or ... I can ask my girlfriend to carpool!
2. I found that really great menu planning tool online!
3. Christmas break is almost over, and I will very soon be back to my regular workout schedule! ... or ... I can go for a 10 minute walk later today! ... or ... I can do some yoga at home right now!
4. At least I have a job! I know it will get done, it always does! ... or ... I can ask a co-worker for help!
5. Now that Christmas is over, I can get back to my regular budget and work with the overspending! ... or ... I'll get a refund from my taxes that will more than take care of the problem and I can start fresh!
6. I realize I need time alone. That's the first step! Kids are going back to school soon, and I will have more time to myself! ... or ... Maybe I can ask my husband or a girlfriend to hang with the kids for a while so I can have some me time.
7. The kids are going back to school soon! And P.S. I am so grateful they are happy and healthy!

I almost always find this tool turns my attitude around! There is something amazing about digging deep for gratitude when you just don't feel like it. You suddenly see that things are not that bad.

A Small Gesture = A Big Impact

According to research conducted by Shaunti Feldhahn, Author of The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages, 72 percent of men say a, "thank you," for something they did "deeply pleases" them.

This is an easy way for us to show our men our love.

© Can Stock Photo Inc. / Andres

-- "Honey, thank you for playing with the kids after work tonight."
-- "Thank you for making coffee this morning."
-- "Thank you for working so hard for us today."

Why is this so important? Because your man's greatest desire is to do something well and have it be noticed and appreciated. If you help fulfill this deepest desire by expressing gratitude, you will be cultivating a healthy marriage, which is good for both of you!

Here's another thought to put it into perspective -- a woman's saying "Thank you" to her man is the emotional equivalent of his saying "I love you" to her. So, if you love hearing, "I love you" from your man, you might want to throw a few "thank you's" his way!

Three Keys to Your State of Happiness

Being happy is a state of mind, and it's really not that difficult to achieve if you know what to do. Here is a super-simple 3-step technique to get you started. 

1. Set your intention.
2. Gather your gratitude.
3. Activate your action.

Grab your journal and work with me.

First, set your intention for what you would like to achieve. Are you trying to be a more patient mother? A more loving wife? A more prayerful woman? Write your desire in the present tense, like this, "I am a patient mother."

Next, identify at least three things you can be grateful for. So, if your intention is to be a more patient mother, you could be grateful for each new day to try again, that you were patient once yesterday, and that your child accepted your apology after you were impatient. Don't be afraid to dig here!

Finally, identify one or two things you can do today to be more patient. Maybe you need to take some time for yourself by meditating, taking a yoga class or taking a nap. Then, follow through on your action steps. 

Contact me if you would like more guidance.

Marriage is a Verb

Something to remember as we treasure our marriages. True love does not begin until after the "in-love" euphoria fades away. In my book, marriage is a verb.

Let's Be More Like Children

Did you know 40% of what we worry about never comes to reality; 30 percent of what we worry about has already happened and cannot be changed; 22 percent of what we worry about regards problems that are beyond our control; and only eight percent of what we worry about are situations over which we have any influence. Eight percent.

Think about the energy we waste compiling that list of things that could go wrong. Think of the misery we create for ourselves as we worry about all of these things. 

I've learned a new habit -- when the list compiling or worrying starts, I notice it, acknowledge it, then say a prayer about it. You'd be amazed at how quickly that will shift your mind back to the present moment again. Admittedly, some days, I have to do this over and over and over again, but it's better than the alternative of staying stuck worrying about the future.

Because when you're worrying about the future, you're not living in the now. In fact, you're flat out missing the now, which is all there really is.