Please Speak Kindly to Yourself

Friends, how you talk to yourself inside your head matters. You are truly hurting yourself when you tell yourself you were an epic failure at something.

Was it not spending enough quality time with your kids?

© Can Stock Photo Inc. / Andres

Yelling at your kids?

Not meeting your exercise or nutrition goals for the day?

Forgetting to call someone?

Being late to something?

Misplacing your keys?

To see more clearly how you should be talking to yourself instead, imagine how you would talk to your best friend.

You wouldn't say, "You were an epic failure today."

You would say something more gentle and compassionate, like, "OK. You're human. Tomorrow is a new day. You can do better next time."

Right?

So, let's practice that with ourselves. Listen to what you say to yourself inside your head and the way you talk about yourself to other people. Notice if you are not being your own best friend. Changing the way you talk to and about yourself can help you feel more peaceful and centered inside. I want you to feel more peaceful and centered inside. Would you like to feel more peaceful and centered?

If this message is resonating with you, that means it is for you. Let me know if you need some help.

Become a Lion

Canstock/diktattoor

Love this quote! Freedom is good!

How to Nurture Yourself -- Mind, Body & Spirit

Many of us women do not do a good job of nurturing ourselves. We act from our hearts and give so much time and attention to those around us, but inadvertently neglect ourselves.

Part of getting over this hurdle is first becoming aware that it is important to nurture yourself. Nurturing yourself is good for your mind, body and spirit. You will feel happier, more peaceful and more spiritually connected.

I find it is sometimes difficult for my clients to connect with the idea of nurturing themselves, so I have them tell me what they would do for their child if their child were sick.

© Can Stock Photo Inc. / RossHelen

Usually I get answers like:

• Snuggle with them
• Make them some soup
• Bring them something to drink
• Make sure they are comfortable
• Take care of them so they can relax 

Now, imagine taking care of yourself this way every day. Maybe you need some time snuggling with your loved ones. Maybe you need some time relaxing with a good book. Maybe you might find it lovely to make a nice bowl of soup and have a candle lit dinner.

I advise my clients to first make a list of actions that would feel nurturing, then pick one idea to implement on a daily basis.

Here are a few suggestions in addition to the ones above to get you thinking:

• Buy yourself something nice
• Light a candle
• Call or meet up with a friend
• Spend time alone with God
• Journal your feelings out on paper to release them
• Do some yoga or any other exercise you enjoy
• Spend a few minutes in meditation
• Get a massage
• Paint, write, sing or dance

I can not stress the importance of this enough. The more you do for yourself, the better you will be for yourself and for those around you! You have my permission -- nurture away!

Your #1 Enemy -- How You Talk to Yourself

© Can Stock Photo Inc. / katielittle25

In life, we often think our troubles come from the words or actions of others, but in truth, we can be our own worst enemy by how we talk to ourselves.

Do you beat yourself up for little mistakes? Are you constantly putting yourself down? Thinking you're not good enough? Smart enough? Strong enough? Would you talk to your best friend like that? Likely, not!

This trash talk is killing you. It's dragging you down. It's draining your energy. It's poisoning you with negativity.

Though it won't be easy, cleaning up this trash talk IS simple. The solution is to follow up any negative thought by loving that thought. Sound crazy? Sound backwards? It's not.

Here's how it works. Let's say you get angry and yell at your kids. Now you're mad at yourself for yelling. You calm down, apologize to the kids, and send them off to play. In the minds of your children, the situation is over, but not in your mind. You are feeling guilty and telling yourself you're not a good mother. "Good moms don't yell at their kids." "What is the matter with me?" "I'll never get this right!"

Usually, this toxic cycle goes on and on in our minds for hours or days after a negative event. But now you know better than to allow it.

Once you are aware that you are beating yourself up with negative thoughts, STOP, and say to the thoughts, "I love you. Thank you."

This step is a true miracle in action, because it surrounds a negative thought with love. And that is how we change for the better. Here is a secret: we don't change our imperfections by denying or hating them. We change them by loving them. Try it and notice the peace it brings you.

This is a spiritual practice. Does God try to change you by hating you and sending you negativity? No, he surrounds you with love at all times. But, it's up to you to take it from there and fill yourself up with love.

This is a big topic, and there is so much more to say, but for today, I'll leave you with this small bit to start practicing. Contact me if you need more assistance.

Taking Care of You is Not Selfish

During a recent coaching session with my coach she said something that was a great "light bulb" moment for me, "The act of taking care of one's self often appears selfish to others."

© Can Stock Photo Inc. / pablocalvog

How true. I believe this is part of why we don't always take good care of ourselves. We don't want others to think we are being selfish.

But taking care of your "self" is not selfish. It is loving. It is loving to you and to the very people who might think you are being selfish.

We have all heard before that we need to take care of ourselves first so we can better take care of those around us.

This is true and why the flight attendant always tells you to put your oxygen mask on first -- then your child. Take care of you so you can take care of others.

What happens when we are not taking good care of ourselves is that we get filled up with resentment that depletes our energy and often gets taken out on those around us.

So, what is it that you need to do for yourself right now? Take a relaxing bath? Go shopping? Get a manicure or pedicure? Have lunch with a friend? Sleep in late? Get a massage? Go on a trip? Go back to school?

Whatever it is -- go do it!