Breakin’ the Rules

Paul and I had been planning on taking the kids up to Disney this weekend for about a month. As luck would have it, I received a very big assignment from a client that made me reconsider going – I thought maybe we should stay home, and I would work over the weekend instead, to make sure I met my deadline with as little last minute stress as possible.

I actually spoke with my life coach about this, and we talked about my priorities in life. My family is my biggest priority. Although I love what I do, my family comes before work. Being reminded of this helped me to decide that we should still go on our trip as planned.

As my life coach and I were talking, she said, “What would it be like if you left all of your work behind at home? What if you left all of the ‘rules’ of life behind for the weekend?” Wow! I loved that idea! I was sure if I put my energy into having a fun, “rule-free” weekend with Paul and the kids that I would be motivated to work hard the following week on my project.

So, as we started driving up to Orlando, I pulled out a piece of paper and pen and started talking to the kids about rules. I started on a really boring note, without telling them where I was going with the idea. I was asking them about what rules we have at home that they have to follow. They listed things like washing hands, brushing teeth, going to bed on time, etc.

Next, I told them my idea about leaving the rules behind this weekend and just having fun! They LOVED it, so we talked about which rules we could break. This wasn’t going to be a “no holds barred,” no rules at all weekend, but we wanted to try and let them break as many as possible. Here are a few examples:

At lunch that day, we decided not to enforce our limit on dessert – they each had a whole bag of the fun size M&M minis instead of half the bag (our normal rule). The smiles on their faces were HUGE!

We also broke the bedtime rule of 7 p.m. I think we got back to the hotel around 9:30. Very late for those two!

Then, Tyler decided he wanted to either not brush his teeth at all or brush them with his finger! Alyssa said she absolutely must brush her teeth. That was not something she wanted to give up! But in the end, neither of them ended up brushing them at all.

The next morning when we woke up, there was condensation all over the sliding glass doors in the hotel room – we let the kids draw in it, something we would usually not allow at home!

It’s pretty cool that something that started out as an internal struggle for me turned into a memorable experience for the whole family!

Persistence Pays Big Rewards

"Mom, if I put on my shoes and socks, can I go outside and play?" These are the words uttered by my four-year-old on several occasions over the past couple of weeks. There are so many wonderful things about this question, but let me tell you about just one of them.

The biggest thrill for me is that I am a stickler for the kids wearing shoes and socks to play outside (unless we're at the beach, of course). Why? For two reasons -- safety and safety. Wearing gym shoes protects their 10 little toes from getting injured while playing, and it helps prevent them from falling and getting injured.

The sight of children running in flip flops just makes me cringe. Lots of parents let their children play this way, and that is their business, but it's not my preference for my kids. Herein lies the problem.

For years, I've been requiring this of Tyler and Alyssa, and for years they've whined, cried, groaned, moaned, kicked and screamed about it. "It's too much work to put on shoes and socks," or "Sally Soandso doesn't always wear gym shoes."

Well, I've learned over the past few weeks that my persistence and patience has paid off! They get it! Even though they fought me almost every time, they got the message, and they know exactly why they wear gym shoes when they go outside to play!

So, now, not only do they ask if they can go outside and play, but they also mention the fact that they will put on their shoes and socks (by themselves, nonetheless)! Yippee!

Just thought I'd pass along that bit of positive encouragement for all of us parents who sometimes get "oh, so tired" of repeating the same mantras over and over and over again! It's worth it!

The Ripple Effect in Life

I've always been a very positive, upbeat person. In fact, my nickname in high school was Smiley. I still get many compliments on my smile. :) Some people tease me about "being so happy all the time," but I can't help it -- it's just the way I am. No. Let me restate that -- it's the way I choose to be.

I realize I have the power to make my life what I want it to be; and I realize it's my actions that create my happiness, not the actions of others.

Have you ever heard about the Ripple Effect Theory? Master Life Coach David Essel talked about it the other day in class, and it really struck a chord with me. The Ripple Effect theory states that every thought and every action ripples from us and affects the world -- positive or negative.

Let's go back to the phone incident, where I was a bit rude and impatient wtih "Amy." Had I not called her back to apologize, she might have been crabby for the rest of the day. She might have been short with her co-workers and other callers; she might not have done a good job at work for the rest of that day; she might have been short with her husband and children. She might have had a hard time sleeping that night. I could have had all of this negative energy going on, as well, because I felt guilty for being rude.

On the positive side, what happens when we are dishing out good vibes? The day I called Amy back to apologize, I felt really good about the ordeal. In the end, I did the right thing. As a result, everyone I came into contact with that day felt my positive energy and saw my smile, I was productive with my work, I enjoyed my evening with my children and my husband, and I slept great that night! As a result, everyone in my life felt good too.

I think we don't always realize how our bad moods impact our families -- especially our children -- you know, the ones we're trying to raise into healthy, happy members of society. :) They feel every bit of our unrest and unhappiness, and it affects them. I would feel terrible if I was crabby with Tyler one evening and caused him to sleep poorly -- what if that caused him to do bad on a test at school the next day? That's not the kind of mom I want to be!

I'm not saying we should all walk around pretending life is peachy all the time. But, it's important for us to deal with what is bothering us, so we can be a positive source of energy to everyone we come into contact with!

Need help learning how to "deal" with what is bothering you? You need a life coach! But, until then, I'll write about the technique another day! Stay tuned!

Got Passion?

I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing a woman from a non-profit organization yesterday. The interview is part of an annual report I am writing for a client. I won't give too much away, because we don't like to spoil the report before it is revealed in its entirety, but I was so moved by this woman that I had to share.

This woman is on FIRE for her non-profit. It is evident by the words she uses and the passionate way she speaks them. I swear, she had me near tears and ready to whip out my checkbook! All this during an interview for an annual report ... for a utility. Who'd a thunk?

I'll tease you with one quote. She said, "Give me a pencil, and I'll get a child to college." Wow. Powerful stuff. Doesn't that just give you goosebumps? She's not asking for enormous donations of scholarships -- just pencils. This woman totally moved me.

She inspired me so much that she set the tone for the entire report in my eyes. She made my job so much easier just by being passionate about hers. Now I can't wait to interview the rest of the people!

I couldn't help but think, "What if everyone were that passionate about their job?" Can you imagine what we could do in this world? The mouths we could feed ... the children we could educate ... the diseases we could cure ... the possibilities are endless. The energy that radiates from a person who is that passionate about what they do is powerful.

So, I ask you. Are you passionate about what you do for a living? If not, what can you do about it? Do you even know what you are passionate about? If not, take some time with pen and paper and write about it. Brainstorm some ideas. You never know where it might lead you!

Cat's in the Cradle

I love that song Cat's in the Cradle -- it's an oldie, but a goodie. I heard it yesterday for the first time in a long time. I think I hear it differently now that I have children. It's sad. It reminds me of how busy life is and that it sometimes gets in the way of enjoying our children.

Parents older than us always say, "Enjoy them now, because before you know it, they'll be going off to college." While we know this is true, it's hard to hear sometimes when they're driving you crazy and all you want is a little time to yourself ... or to feel like you got one thing accomplished that day.

Being a parent is hard, but, I'd have it no other way. Tyler and Alyssa make my world go 'round! I recognize that they're good for me on many levels -- they teach me many of my life's lessons. Plus, life would not be nearly as fun without them! I just love to watch how silly they can be. And, I like how paying attention to them can take me out of my adult-world head and into the present moment of whatever sweet, innocent goofiness they have going on!

Yesterday, Tyler really impressed me with his creativity. After school he led us in two really fun activities -- first he turned his bedroom into a craft studio, and we made Valentine's. He gave Alyssa and I step-by-step instructions about what to do!

Then, he turned his bedroom into a planetarium. He used a flashlight, his Moon in My Room and a globe that lights up and shows constellations at night. He got this idea from the planetarium at MOSI in Tampa -- a trip that we took last month with the Cub Scouts. Too cute!

It was awesome to see Tyler pretend to behave like the planetarium employee who gave us the show. He mimicked her as best he could and was very informative about the stars, the moon and the sun! What fun!

So, I'm really glad I heard that song yesterday, or I might not have slowed down enough to experience that with the kids. I might have told them I was too busy to play, and I would never have known what fun I missed. I'm so glad I played!