Teaching Children about the Big Impact of Small Acts of Kindness

Recently, the kids and I were at Potbelly getting lunch. As I was standing in line to place our order, Tyler, my nine-year-old, walked out of the line to find a table. He happened to cross paths with a little girl his age who was carrying a tray of empty cups and wrappers to the garbage.

Unexpectedly, her tray tipped a little, and a cup fell off of it. In slow motion, I watched the look on her face, which said something like, "Oh no, what am I going to do now?" She looked around the restaurant for help.

Then I watched Tyler as he contemplated what to do. He looked at her and at the cup on the floor. Then he bent down, picked up the cup and put it back on her tray.

Even though the exchange was very brief, it seemed as though time stood still. I had enough time to appreciate the point of view of both children and feel immense joy as I watched my child do something nice for another child.

I even had enough time to wonder if there was more to this story than just one child helping another. Who knows, maybe Tyler and that girl will meet again some day, and she'll say, "Hey, you're the kid who picked up my cup for me at Potbelly."

Honestly, I was not planning on writing a blog about this, because it was such a minor, every day experience -- it's not like he saved her life. But then I remembered that that is what my blog is all about -- making memories out of every day.

And I realized that Tyler's small act of kindness could have made a big impact on that little girl, her parents and anyone else in the restaurant who saw it. It certainly made a big impact on me, and I made sure Tyler knew how sweet it was, too.

So, I am sharing this story because I believe it is vital to take the time to notice and appreciate the small, every day positive experiences in life. Otherwise, life may just pass us by.

Making Homework Time More Peaceful

This year the kids both have a sizable amount of homework -- Tyler's takes about an hour, and Alyssa's takes about half an hour.

For these first few weeks of school, we've been doing homework together -- both kids at the same time, but I was starting to notice that they each needed enough of me that there was not enough of me to go around.

It was starting to cause frustration for all of us, because we all just wanted this homework thing to be done so we could get to playing!

I came to my senses yesterday and presented this challenge and my feelings about it to the kids for their help in solving it.

We threw out some solutions, including 1) them being more patient with me and each other and we still do it together or 2) we have one child do their homework at a time.

They decided they would like to split it up so each child gets their own time with mom on homework.

For any of you who have read The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman, both of my kids speak the love language of quality time, so, this choice was not a surprise.

Tyler piped up and said he would prefer to go first since it stresses him out to let his homework linger. Alyssa said it didn't matter if she went first or second. Wow! That was easy! Yippee!

So, today was our first day of splitting it up, and it went much better than previous days! So much more peaceful. Whew. I am not sure if this is exactly how we will continue, but at least for now while we are still adjusting to the new school year, this may help alleviate some after school stress for all of us.

So, here it is ... about 4:00, both kids are done with homework and playing independently and I have time to write this blog! Feels good!

I'm not sure how other moms handle this situation, but hopefully our solution is helpful information for some of you. Happy Thursday!

Hummingbirds from Heaven

When my dad called to tell me that my grandmother had just passed away, I was sitting outside on the patio enjoying a beautiful Saturday morning.

After his call, I just sat there for a bit, taking in the information, letting the tears stream down my cheeks, when suddenly a creature came flying right at me. I thought it was a dragonfly and that it was going to hit me, so I flinched, but as it got closer, I realized it was a hummingbird.

A beautiful hummingbird! To say it took my breath away would be an understatement. I was fascinated. It flew right next to me and hovered there for several seconds. Long enough for me to take it all in and be captivated by it.

I have only seen a hummingbird in person a few times in my life. And NEVER for such a long period of time. It was just breathtaking.

I am very interested in the spiritual meaning of animals, so, after the encounter, I looked up the hummingbird, and what I read had me in tears. So many messages for me. Too many for one blog article, but, the primary one is the significance of how the hummingbird's wings flutter in the shape of a figure eight. That is the sign for infinity -- eternity.

Seriously. For a hummingbird to "magically" show up next to me moments after learning my grandmother had passed away is nothing short of divine. I'm sure my grandmother sent me that hummingbird to let me know about eternity.

Growing up, birds were our thing. Well, sparrows, mostly. She fed the sparrows at her house every single day, and when I was there I did it too. But she didn't feed her sparrows ordinary bird seed, she bought loaves of bread specifically for the birds!

I loved tearing up the bread into little pieces for the birds and then running inside to the kitchen window to watch them all eat.

She told me her father always told her he would come back to earth as a bird after he died, and that was why it was so important she fed the sparrows at her house. Well, now I have hummingbirds to feed in honor of my grandmother. It just makes me smile.

Hummingbirds also symbolize joy. I think my grandmother is telling me, from heaven, the same thing she used to tell me in person -- savor every moment, every day. Savor your family.

I get chills every time I think about it. Lucky for me, I have a very caring husband who promptly went out and bought a hummingbird feeder. Now we see them every day! CRAZY! He also set up the video camera to see if we could catch one in action, and we did! Check out the video! So cool!

Spiritual Journaling: The ART of Compassion

I attended a spiritual art journaling class last night and made this piece of artwork.

For the week prior to the class we were instructed to be asking God for direction in this new season of life ( it could be the kids going back to school or whatever is going on in life).

We were to ask God to lay some things on our hearts and to be paying attention to the repetitive messages he would bring us.

Throughout the week I felt that God was giving me the word compassion to think about. I read that word and heard people speak that word REPEATEDLY all week long. 

He even gave me a verse from the Bible -- Psalm 103:8, which says "The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love."

I took time to reflect on what God was trying to tell me with this, and I think right now it has to do with me being compassionate always.

It's easy to be compassionate toward people who treat you with love and respect. The challenge comes in being compassionate toward those you feel are not treating you well.

This is no small challenge. It means changing your heart. It means that even those who have hurt us deserve our compassion. Maybe it helps to think about what Plato said, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.”

So, the goal of the spiritual art journaling class was to take what we learned over the week and to journal it artistically. We were given an 8x8 canvas, paints, markers, crayons, glitter, stickers, photographs and more to create our artful journals. The end result is a treasure to help remind you of what God is teaching you right now.

Tamara Peterson, the creator of this idea, came up with it because she understands the value of journaling, but has trouble putting her thoughts and feelings into words. She's an artist, so instead of using lots of words, she uses lots of paint, color, symbols, pictures and anything else artistic she can get her hands on. She is so talented! And very fun to be around, I might add!

But you don't have to be a talented artist to journal this way! As you can see from my photo, I am not an artist -- I am a woman of words! But I loved this method of journaling and found it to be very peaceful and divine. If you're interested in learning more about creative journaling, click here.

A Letter to My Grandmother

Today is Saturday, August 25, 2012. The day my grandmother went to be with her husband and the Lord. She died of cancer, but has been living with Alzheimer's disease for many years. I wrote her this letter in 2009, before the Alzheimer's disease got so bad that I wouldn't have the chance to tell her how much she meant to me.

February 24, 2009

Dear Grandma,

Hello. It’ me, Kristina, your oldest grandchild! I am writing because I would like to tell you how much you mean to me. As I watch my children, Tyler (6) and Alyssa (3), interact with their grandparents, it reminds me of all of the wonderful fun we had while I was growing up.

I will always treasure the memories of staying at your house – especially during the summer! I remember beautiful summer sunrises and riding my bike up and down your driveway while you made breakfast or read the paper. I can still smell the fresh air.

I also loved our bike rides, when we would ride near the high school and stop to visit some of your friends. I loved walking down to the park to play … and walking or riding in your neighborhood in general. You know, one of the things I love about where I live now, is that it reminds me of your neighborhood with all of the beautiful mature trees. It makes me think of you often.

I also loved going swimming at “the pool.” I looked forward to our trips to the market and Randhurst – remember how we used to “people watch” – that was always so much fun. I still tell people about how we used to just sit and watch the crazy, interesting people! You were the master – you taught me that!

So many of my life’s memories are at your house. I feel so fortunate that we came down there every Sunday to spend time with you, Aunt Teresa and the kids. Remember how you used to always slip us a few bucks before we left to go back home? I loved that! How lucky were we to all be together like that?

For some reason, my mind is wandering to food – I always loved the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups you kept in the bottom drawer of the fridge! Yummy! And, of course, you always had chocolate milk for us! What a treat that was – and you knew it! While we’re on the subject of food – remember the liverwurst we used to eat? Oh, and the gyros!!! Ahhh, those were the days!

It was hilarious once the families grew so large that we needed two tables to sit everyone in your kitchen, but those family dinners were the best! We had so much fun!

Once I was in college, I absolutely loved that your house was right on the way back to ISU. It was wonderful to stop there on the way back and spend some time with you and Papa. It gave us time to look at old photo albums of your family, which was fun and interesting! I also loved all the goodies you sent me back with – especially the ham salad! It truly made me happy to have that little tradition with you for a while.

Now that I am an adult, I honor you by making a couple of your famed recipes – I always make your yummy sweet potatoes at Thanksgiving, and I’ve finally gotten brave enough to try making your potatoes – the ones with the corn flakes on top! Soooo yummy!

I always enjoy our phone conversations. I love hearing your voice – it just transports me back in time. And you always remind me that I should be enjoying my children and my husband. Don’t worry, Grandma, I am! Thank you for the reminders! It really helps!

You have always played such a special role in my life. I can’t tell you with words how much I love you. You are the most amazing Grandmother anyone could ever ask for. I have no idea what I would have done without you. Thank you for always listening and being there for me.

I know it’s hard for you now with Papa gone, but I hope you can hang in there and try to enjoy every day as much as you can. Please know that I think of you often! Call me anytime, Grandma.

I love you!