Remembering my Papa

Mutual adoration ... that never stopped.

Eight years ago today my Papa passed away. I had flown in the night before to try and say goodbye for the last time, but I was too late. He passed away during the night while I slept.

The next morning my father and I drove to his house, where he was still in his favorite lazy boy chair -- a place he spent much time in during the last few months of his life. He had lung cancer and was under the care of Hope Hospice at home.

The house was so peaceful. He was so peaceful. I just stared at him for a while with so much love in my heart. He was an awesome grandfather. I wrote him a letter that I wanted to read to him while he was still alive, but I didn't get that chance. Instead I read it aloud to him after he passed while the whole family was gathered around. I'm not sure how I made it through it, but somehow I did. 

Me with my Grandmother and Papa in May 2004.

As odd as this may sound, the two days following his passing were two of the most treasured days of my life. All of our family had flown in from around the country. My grandfather did not want a funeral, so we all just sat around my grandmother's house telling stories about him, laughing and bonding once again as a family. I will never forget those days. I love you, Papa!

Show Me How Big Your Brave Is

I am just loving this new Sara Bareilles song, "Brave." It really stirs my soul. It feels like God is speaking through Sara to me (and you, too). He wants us to be brave. To speak up. To follow our dreams. To not let the words of others discourage us or put us down.

To stand up for what we believe in. To say out loud what we believe. To not be afraid to be ourselves.

To let our children watch us be brave. And to teach them how to be brave, too.

Whatever your struggle, this song will inspire you! Give it a listen, then go be BRAVE!

The 5 Love Languages of Children Book Club for Parents

Start the new year off right and renew your relationship with your children! Join me as I lead a book club group discussion about the The 5 Love Languages of Children, by Gary Chapman, Ph.D.

I started using the techniques in this book about a year ago and am amazed at how a few simple pieces of information and guidelines can help you communicate and understand your children better. 

The 5 Love Languages of Children is light and easy-to-read. It will help you identify how your child gives, receives and interprets love and will give you simple, practical advice on how to enhance your relationship with your child. 

Plus, it has a fun mystery quiz for your children to take that will help you identify their love language. I can't tell you how helpful that quiz is! 

Before my daughter took it, I guessed her love language was quality time, but after the quiz I learned she desires quality time and physical touch equally! Wanna know what's cool about that? I can give her quality time while I give her some physical love by snuggling, or, my personal favorite, tickling!

The results of my son's quiz showed he feels most loved when he receives physical touch and gifts. The gifts were a bit of a surprise...I would have put quality time as his top love language. So, this was good information!

If you desire to work on your relationship with your children, click here to register! Then read the book and join us for an inspiring and uplifting discussion.

Session Options:

1) Thurs., Feb. 6, 7 – 9 p.m.

2) Mon., Feb. 10, 9 – 11 a.m.

3) Mon., Feb. 10, 7 – 9 p.m.

4) Tues., Feb. 11, 9 – 11 a.m.

5) Wed., Feb. 12, 1 – 3 p.m.

6) Thurs., Feb. 13, 1 – 3 p.m.

Sessions will take place on the St. James Parish grounds in Arlington Heights. Specific location information will be provided when you register.

Rediscovering the Inner Child is F.U.N.

Have you ever noticed when kids pretend to act like adults they lose their fun, childlike demeanor and become more serious? 

Ever since my daughter Alyssa was born, I've become acutely aware that I may have lost my connection with my inner child.

She showed me this when she was a baby, and I was changing her diaper. She would scoot her butt all over the changing table to keep me from getting a new diaper on. As a first-born, type-A personality, this would drive me nuts -- "work first, then play" was my belief.

But, I soon came to realize Alyssa was teaching me that we can work and play at the same time. And that we should work and play at the same time, because, if we keep trying to get all of our work done first, there will never be time for play.

I have worked to try to incorporate this new belief into my life for the past seven years of her life. I need a lot of reminding to reprogram my old ways. It's not easy. Some days I feel sorry for her being my teacher in this area -- it's a big task! But I am so grateful she is here to teach me!

My first-born, Tyler, has been getting in on the fun lately, too. He came home from school yesterday with a riddle from a friend. This sparked a string of riddles going through our house. Alyssa is even in on it now! A riddle is a great way to slow yourself down and think like a child. I have to admit -- at first, I felt busy, and I did not want to slow down long enough to solve the riddle, but I did, and it was fun!

I guess they got me going on a playful theme today, because later at yoga, our instructor said to "play around" with our poses -- to try new things. That sounded like a good idea, so, I gave the "crow" pose a try -- darn near got it! What fun that was! For two years I've been doing yoga and never gotten brave enough to try a difficult pose like that.

I was so excited I came home and showed the kids and started running around the house cawing like a crow! I know, now you think I'm crazy! But nope, just acting like a kid! And by the way, as of this moment, everyone in the house has tried crow pose! Even Paul! Awesome!

What will you do to be playful today?

Changing Schools Need Not be a Hair-Raising Experience

"By the way, your children are going to be just fine in their new school." These are the comforting words my doctor said to me as he looked me in the eye before leaving the exam room. It made me smile, because I knew he was right.

I "know" my children are going to be fine there. They will be fine almost anywhere, because they are very adaptable kids, but somehow this worry affected me so deeply that it has caused me to lose what feels like an enormous amount of my long locks (hence the visit to the doctor).

I've been through this before. Stress brings it on. Or shall I say, "makes it fall out."

But I thought I was dealing with the stress better, so it came as a surprise when the strands of hair just kept falling and falling and falling. My hair feels noticeably thinner now.

What happened to cause all of this shedding? We found out last April that none of the other four boys in my son's fourth grade class were planning on returning to the school for fifth grade. It's a smaller school -- his grade only had 16 students, five of whom were boys.

Although it was small, it worked with five boys. But, to think he might be the only boy or one of only two or three boys was unacceptable to my son, my husband and myself. Especially since he is at the height of his tween years -- he needs the influence and camaraderie of other boys.

After prayerful consideration and much research, we decided it was best to make a move. Luckily, we have many great schools in our area and found no problem with discovering a school with a larger population of boys that met all of our other criteria. That was the easy part. So, why the stress?

We had just changed schools when we moved across the country three years earlier, so I was worried that another school change so soon might be difficult for them.

• I worried if they would be OK in a larger school.
• I worried if they would get lost in the shuffle.
• I worried about them making new friends.
• I worried if the kids at the new school would be nice.
• I worried about the old school -- about the impact of five children leaving one grade.
• I worried about what other people were saying about our family's decision.
• I worried I was letting people down -- even thought I knew our decision was right for our children.

But now that school has started, and I have seen that the kids are doing just fine, I think what is happening with my tresses is the release of this worry.

I think my hair is giving me the signal to shed the worry -- like the trees shed their leaves in the fall. They die for the winter so they can live in the spring. It's time for me to put an end to the worry so I can live in the bountiful harvest of "now" ... which, by the way, is a really wonderful place!