Sunday, March 1, 2015

The Battle for Your Marriage

Your marriage is under attack. Every minute of every day, via spiritual warfare. I want people to know about this, because so often we think our spouse is the enemy. But our spouse is not the enemy. The Devil is, and he is relentless.

He will stop at nothing to destroy your marriage, because it is something good that God has created. He will use things like petty little arguments, busy schedules, crying babies, selfishness and temptations to slowly drive a wedge right between you and your spouse. He will do such a good job you might even get to the point where you don't think you like your spouse anymore.

© Can Stock Photo Inc. / 4774344sean
I want to encourage you to fight for your marriage on a daily basis. Do it for yourself, your spouse and your children.

Practically speaking, here are a few simple ideas for cultivating a happy marriage:
  • Set up a daily check-in time with your spouse and ask, "How was your day?" Allow 5-20 minutes for this task where each of you will talk about your day and listen to the other. Insist the children give you this time -- it is for their own good, and it shows them you value your relationship.
  • Check in with your spouse periodically -- maybe once every few months -- and ask, "What can I do to be a better partner?"
  • Plan some dates that are different and interesting. Specifically plan something your spouse would like. Get out of your comfort zone. I've tried some things in the past like fishing and camping because my husband enjoys them.
  • Always look for the best in your spouse. What you see is what you get, so if you are constantly nit-picking and noticing everything he does wrong, that is all you will see. Change your focus. Put on a new pair of glasses. Notice what he is doing right.
  • Cultivate an attitude of gratitude. Thank your spouse for all of the things he does for you and your family. Thank him for going to work. Thank him for taking out the trash. Thank him for driving the kids to soccer. These things may seem minor, but they will cultivate gratitude in your heart.
  • Don't take your partner for granted. Just because you are married and promised to each other for as long as you both shall live does not mean you stop trying to be the best version of yourself for your partner. Give your best to your spouse, not the left-overs from your day. I know this is challenging, but I can't emphasize this enough -- don't take your partner for granted. Appreciate him and tell him so.
  • This list could go on for eternity, but I'll leave off here saying you can always contact a life coach to guide you through a personalized marriage tune-up. We can create lasting change in just a few weeks.

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