Sunday, May 16, 2010

Michael Buble Has it Right

I love Michael Buble's song, "Haven't Met You Yet." But every time I hear it, I am drawn to the part where he says, "I give so much more than I get." What an awesome philosophy for relationships! It's how it should be. Ideally, we should be freely giving our love to our loved ones without expecting anything in return.

In relationships, I think we naturally tend to be selfish and constantly wonder, "What's in it for me? If I do this for you, what will you do for me?" It's nobody's fault. It's the way we were raised. That's how life starts as a kid. But now that we're adults, it's time to change that type of thinking -- especially when it comes to the relationship with our significant other -- the most important relationship of all.

If we focus on what we are doing for our significant other, instead of what they are not doing for us, we will feel so much happier.

Instead of thinking things like, "if only he would send me flowers," or "if only he would offer to help me clean the kitchen," shift your focus to thinking about what you can do for your spouse. What would help him or her out today? Could you make a call for him or run an errand for her? Maybe it's something as simple as telling them how great they look that day. If you take the time to try this tactic, I think you'll see it works really well!

I'm not saying you should never sit your partner down and talk to them about things you would like them to do for you, you should still do that. I'm just proposing that we should not to get so caught up in the negative thoughts about what they are not doing. Next time you catch yourself with a thought like that, replace it with something that you will do for your partner that day. A specific action like the examples I mentioned above.

Check out this story I found online:

A woman wanted to divorce her husband and make him really suffer. So she went to a lawyer and told him, “I want to divorce my husband. I know that I am going to get control of most of his assets, but I want to make his life miserable. What could I do?”

“Have you told him yet?” the attorney asked. She hadn’t.

“OK,” he continued. “Here’s the plan. For three months, don’t criticize him. Speak only well of him and build him up. Every time he does something right, commend him for it and tell him what a great guy he is. Do that for 12 weeks. When he thinks he has your full confidence and love – nail him! Tell him you’re filing for divorce. It will come as a complete shock!”

The woman loved the plan and was confident her husband would fall for it. For three months she complimented him, built him up, and said wonderful things to him.

One day the lawyer called her back. “Are you ready to file?” he asked. “Oh, no,” the woman said. “We won’t be needing your services. In fact, we’re having a second honeymoon!”

By taking a more positive tack and building up her husband, she actually helped to turn her marriage around and make it better than ever.

Food for thought!

1 comment:

  1. Jenn Rinehart-RydzMay 16, 2010 at 8:30 PM

    Have you read the Love Dare? You'd probably really enjoy it. PS-I LOVE reading your Blog Tina! Thanks for sharing!